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How Determination Grows Confidence

confidence-2If there is one universal quality that all parents want their children to have as they go into the world, it would be confidence. While confidence is a very complex subject it is interesting to see how determination plays a role in gaining confidence and confidence in determination.

Confidence requires that we try new skills and have the determination to stick with it till we have the skill. Imagine saying that we want to learn to play the piano, we will not have the confidence to play at a recital if we have not practiced. Practice requires determination to stay focused on our goal of learning our music and performing well.

Confidence requires that we do hard things. If we only take part in activities that come easily to us we will never work the muscles to make us feel confident. When we attempt a new activity that is hard for us to do, we need determination to stick with it until it is complete. We also learn to ask for help when required, but we are determined not to give up.

Confidence is easier when we are healthy physically which leads to good mental health too. If our bodies feel good and we know we are taking care of ourselves, our mind will tell us we can do things that may seem impossible if we are not making healthy choices. This is true of kids and adults.

Confidence grows when we are contributing to the good of others. When we take our mind off of ourselves and appreciate the good in others, our confidence feels much stronger. All humans have a need to do good for others and our determination to do so contributes to our confidence.

Confidence / Determination or Determination / Confidence. I am not sure which one comes first but they certainly compliment each other as we grow in our life.

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Three Tips For Parents To Teach Determination

As parents we know how important it is for our children to develop the quality of determination. It could be said that it is the difference between success and failure. It is also the difference between them learning to value themselves for what they have earned and not expecting everything to just be given to them.

 Here are three points that will help us parent our children to having determination.jumpingropeboy

  1. Teach them that little steps on a consistent basis often leads to accomplishment of your goal. Both children and many adults believe that those that are the best at an activity are just natural achievers. The fact is though that with consistent effort that we continue to improve. A great example in our Kindergarten / First Grade classes we ask the children to learn to jump rope. This is a monumental task for that age group. We are working on coordination as well as focus, determination, perseverance. What we have found is that those that will practice jumping rope for 5 minutes a day consistently over a few weeks soon become the best at this task.
  2. Teach children to deal with obstacles. We can have many different kinds of obstacles blocking us from reaching a goal that we have set out to achieve. But many of them are self inflicted, including the way we talk to ourselves, being a perfectionist, or resisting success with procrastination. Helping our children to learn about obstacles, being able to Know it, Name it and then How to move past it and continue on to success, is part of demonstrating determination.
  3. Both of the prior steps are best implemented by putting our children into learning environments where determination is a part of the lessons being taught. When this is done in a way that values staying the course and celebrating the results, soon our children will be able to apply this to all different aspects of their life.

 

All individuals have special gifts or strengths. So if our child is really gifted athletically then something else is going to be more of a test and learning experience for them. If we only practice or play at what we are good at – if we have to win all of the time or if as a parent we do not allow our children to fail, they may never learn this most valuable lesson of determination.

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“Limitations” overcome by determination

When we are very young we believe we can do anything. We can fly, dance, sing. We are a ninja, superman / woman, astronaut. There is virtually nothing that we believe that we are not able to do. Then shortly we begin to be influenced by others, society and the stories we tell ourselves.

These beliefs are created in many ways. Much of the time they are learned from others, but we create our own beliefs from our personal experiences. But the funny thing about them is that most of them are not true and the only reason we think they are true is because we have decided or agreed that they are true.

For children they may feel they are not old enough or big enough to make a difference. For adults they may feel they are not enough, do not have enough or do not deserve to have success.  Our goal at Balanced Life Skills is to help every student to have the awareness that through determination we can accomplish whatever we set out to do. First we need to realize that many of our beliefs are influenced by what others say and we have decided to agree. Then if we choose to stop agreeing with beliefs that are limiting us and test out a new belief by taking actions toward our goal we will soon see that we are overcoming what was seen as a “limitation”.impossible

The hard part now is that after making these decisions and taking a few steps – we must not give up – we must be determined to reach our goal. Putting limitations on ourselves is one of the most common ways of lowering the amount of happiness and joy we get out of life. If you just read this and thought to yourself that might be true of this, but it does not apply to me in this situation – you are limiting the amount of success you can have.  Respect for ourselves begins with not limiting ourselves.

One final example: So many students we have had at Balanced Life Skills have come in lacking confidence in their ability to do physical acts, to perform skills, to learn to speak up or to jump rope as the kindergarten and first graders practice. Once they Think they can do it, Feel they can do it, then they just Go Do It!

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Strengths or weaknesses – Determination wins!

Strengths-and-Weaknesses-DirectionEven when we have a goal in mind it may seem that some things come easier for us than others and that can be hard to understand.  However all of us have strengths and weaknesses, and the real question is how well we know ourselves and what are we doing to live up to our potential, using our strengths and not allowing our weaknesses to hold us back.

Strengths are talents that we have that just seem to come naturally to us.  Skills are different than strengths in that skills are things that if you wanted to learn you could take the time and learn to accomplish.  Strengths are innate, while skills are learned.

Weaknesses on the other hand are things that you have the power to improve in yourself.  It may be a professional or social skill or it could be not being able to restrain yourself from eating, but in the end the weakness is a habit that could be changed or a life lesson that you could have learned and not made the same mistake over and over again.

Determination can strengthen all the innate abilities or strengths that you have.  Determination will give you a decided edge in all of the areas that you naturally excel at.  Determination will also help you to improve the areas that may seem weak.  If you are determined to accomplish a goal – even if it looks like you do not have the natural ability to do so – with practice, asking for assistance and staying focused, you will very likely come out with a victory.

Determination Wins!!

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Visualize your goals

visualizationCan you see your goals coming true?  I mean in a very real way, can you visualize the settings, feel the feelings you will have as it unfolds, sense it with everyone of your senses?  That can be hard sometime – because we may be trying too hard or we are not sure of the “right way” of visualizing or there may be other fears.  So here are some thoughts:

Start by relaxing.  Stop worrying and accept what happens.  Take some deep breaths and just relax.

Now use your imagination to consciously choose and create in your mind what you wish to see or imagine.  Practice on a regular basis, especially in the evening prior to going to bed.  This allows your subconscious to embed this picture on your brain.

It is that simple.  Of course once you can see it – now you can do it.

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How We Set Goals Helps Us Have Determination

Determined people set goals for themselves in many areas of their life. We may have a goal for exercise, for work or grades in school, we might be learning a new skill that we have not quite got the hang of yet. If we want to reach our goal there are a couple of little tricks about setting the goal that will help us stay determined to reach our goal.smart goals

First it should be very SPECIFIC. That means no vague or general goals. If you want to exercise more that is general, if you want to run a 5K that is specific and it is partly the second step be MEASURABLE. A 5K is measurable but then add a date to accomplish the 5K by and now we have a deadline that can be measured.

We should ask ourselves if the goal is ATTAINABLE? Any goal is attainable if we are willing to stay determined. Interestingly though, when you identify what is important to yourself – your brain also begins to find the ways for you to answer the questions and reach your goal. Now is it REALISTIC? Having a goal of playing soccer on the moon by next year may be specific with a timeframe, but not really realistic for most of us. However we do not want to set our sights too low, because a low goal exerts low motivational force and therefore less determination.

Finally is your goal TANGIBLE? If it is then you will be able to experience it with one or all of your senses even prior to achieving. Make your goal one that you can picture in your mind you doing, one that you can feel, taste, smell, almost touch. Now it is real.

Determined people “Think they can do it, Feel they can do it and then GO DO IT!