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Emphasis on Teamwork In the Family Builds Volunteering Habits

When we volunteer our time to a cause or to helping an organization fulfill their mission we receive a great feeling of contributing. Contribution is one of six ‘needs’ that every human has within them and if this need is not filled then we cannot feel the best about ourselves. For some individuals this is stronger than for others, but everyone once other needs are filled, want to be able to contribute to others.

Family teamworkWhere does this begin? It is my belief that contribution of our time should begin at home with our family, and be started early in life. Our family is our “most important team” we can contribute to. Learning to volunteer our time to support the “team” by doing our part, helping others, or supporting the good of the family is how we learn to do so for others.

While some may find themselves doing for others in order to feel significant in the community, first and foremost should be our family. As the lead volunteers in the family, parents who do everything without pay, can include the children – not to do chores – but rather to “be on the team”.

How can we demonstrate good teamwork at home? What can we do to help our parents or spouse save some of their time – so we the team can be together for other activities? Teamwork (not chores) volunteering (not a job) giving our time (practicing charity) are developed when we are aware, have compassion and respect for our teammates. Using these words changes the feeling and meaning of our practices at home.

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Charity Demonstrates: Compassion, Awareness & Respect

The Balanced Life Skills Way is “Compassion, Awareness & Respect”. Our focus this month is on the concept and action of Charity. How does Charity demonstrate each of these “Ways”?

compassion

Charity & Compassion – Charity is about giving to those in need without expecting anything in return.  When we see a situation that is difficult, compassion calls on us, tugs at our heart and looks for ways to help.  It may not always be another person.  We can have compassion for animals, situations, the environment or an emergency.  Our compassion may be based on fairness or justice or it may be a recognition of our inter – dependance that we have with each other when we feel the suffering of another.  Developing compassion is related to empathy and having an understanding of what another may be going through.

Charity & Awareness – Charity like many other parts of our life begins with Awareness.  If we are not aware of a difficult situation we will never be moved to act with compassion.  As an example we may not be aware of the hunger going on in the world, or of the cruelty to animals that might be taking place or the violence against women in certain cultures.  Until we are aware and especially if we are aware on a personal level – like we have seen it with our own eyes or held the children in an orphanage, it is difficult to be compassionate and charitable.

Charity & Respect – Charity is about respect for life and the environment.  Being able to get rid of our egos, to be able to treat others the way we would want to be treated and the way they would like to be treated.  Respect is not condescending nor does it allow for an attitude of superiority when we are giving.

Charity, our ability and actions of giving to those who are in need, begins at home with our own parents and siblings first, with an awareness of their needs, compassion for their feelings and respect for their rights.  It is the Balanced Life Skills Way.

 

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Charity (giving) begins by learning to give at home

child_helping_The idea of giving to others who are in need is not about feeling sorry for them or feeling  good about ourselves.  When we see that another person has a need, it is just the right thing to do,  to find a way to help them fill that need or find a way to fill their own needs.  In my mind a need does not have to be just physical needs.

Physical needs are many times very obvious.  It may be a need for clothing, food or shelter.  It may be toiletries or school supplies.  There are times when those needs are not readily seen or they may be disguised.  A child may not come to school because of not having the supplies they need.  Most of the time the physical needs are far easier to see than other needs.

All humans have a need for significance, love and connection.  Even when we come from a great circumstance physically, we have these basic needs. One of the ways we can give this to another is with our talents and time.

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Life Skills – Charity: The Definition

Teaching Children Life Skills

Each month we will discuss a life skill with all of our students.  This month the word is Charity.  This word will be defined in the following ways for our students.

 

 

Young students:  Charity: “I give to those in need!”

Older students:  Charity means:  ”Giving to those in need without expecting anything in return.”

Each age group has a worksheet that parents can use to continue the discussion at home with their children, and one for adults to allow them to think more deeply about the skill and how it applies to them.  Would you like to receive the worksheet?  Stop by our studio at 133 Gibralter Avenue in Annapolis, MD and tell us the age of your child.  We will give you a worksheet and invite you to watch Mr. Joe discuss the word with the students in class.  You can also follow our discussions here on this website.

If you would like to become a member of Balanced Life Skills, come TRY CLASSES FOR FREE.   We are not your typical martial arts school, in fact we are an education center, working with our students on physical skills along with empowering families with compassion, awareness and respect.  We believe in every child and build their confidence in themselves.  Balanced Life Skills takes part in community service and encourages each student to do the same.  You are welcomed to come in and talk to the parents that are here and watch the class for the age group you are interested in.

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Bamboo Bikes Made in Greensboro, Alabama

Every year in April a group of martial artist from around the country assemble in Greensboro, Alabama for a different kind of convention.  This convention is about doing good for others, a time to put into practice what we talk about all year.  It is also about learning from each other and those around us.

In the last couple of years we have learned from this group who are building bamboo bicycles.  Can you imagine people from the community learning to build a bike with local, recoverable resources.  Here is a little video about their work and is a part of a campaign to raise money.  I am not asking you to contribute unless you are moved to do so.  I am asking you to look at this example and for all of us to ask ourselves if we are contributing to our community in the best way that we can.   Here is their video.

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Push-hands with the Elements

IMG_3548There is a common two-person Tai Chi practice walled tuishou, or push-hands. It seems, from what I have seen, that it varies in its details from school to school, but I hope the core practice is the same. Two practitioners stand and push one another, trying to maintain constant contact while looking for the opening to unbalance their partner. The secret, as far as I have grasped it, is the smooth and accurate transition from pushing to yielding in perfect synchronicity with your partner’s transition: when the other person is pushing at 80% power, you are exactly 80% yielding. When they are 30% yielding, you are exactly 30% pushing. One can not be always pushing or always yielding: obviously always yielding gets you knocked over, and always pushing seems strong but against a skilled opponent gets overbalanced. Clearly this requires great skill and sensitivity. There is no single “answer” that solves the “problem” each and every time, only by reacting well to the constantly changing situation does one stay on one’s feet.

In this way, push-hands becomes one way to understand Taiji. Taiji is the Daoist philosophy of ever-shifting opposites. This is the philosophy the physical practice of Taijiquan attempts to capture. This practice has in turn become known (somewhat confusingly) as just Taiji, or Tai Chi (See what we did there? Made a nice little circle).

So I bring this up in an attempt to offer, once and for all, my solution to what is known in my class as, “THE HAT QUESTION.” Shifu has told us, “You must protect your health, and so you must keep your body warm in the winter.” He has also said, “Don’t wear hats during training.” So the question is this: do we or do we not wear hats to protect our health in training? And I think the answer is Taiji. Taiji the philosophy, not Taiji the physical practice — although I guess exercise helps stay warm too 🙂

If we imagine the weather as our push-hands partner, I think it becomes clear. When we are at rest, say, in our room, we are in a yielding, receptive state. The weather, cold and harsh, pushes against us. Bundling up is the passive response to cold weather, so we must bundle up. However, to maintain balance, we can’t be passive all the time, sometimes we must stoke the body’s internal fires and push back against the cold. When this happens, we don’t need or want a hat —  it is a crutch that limits us and a blockage to the natural path of the body heat rising from our center.

The answer is that there is no single answer for every situation, hat or no hat. We must match our head covering to the weather and our own state of yielding or surging. Right now, are you more yin or more yang? But since Shifu is Shifu, and he expects us be fired up for training, we should be pushing against the weather during training and not wearing a hat. So no hat.

It’s funny to be writing about bundling up when it is just August and I am stewing in my own sweat every moment of every day. But the principle of trying to match my body and behavior to the circumstances still applies if I am trying to figure out if I should be strolling in a blessedly cool afternoon rain shower, or running for cover.