Optimism is about believing and expecting that no matter what has happened that things will turn out well. So when any one of us, a child or adult finds it hard to be accountable for the mistakes they have made, they are in effect saying that they are having a difficult time believing that there is any good that can come from admitting to a mistake.
All of us make mistakes. Sometimes they are accidents. And sometimes it is a choice. So what is a mistake.? It is when we do something we wish we had not done. It may be something we said, an action we made or something that we are still learning about and tried and just need more skill.
So why do individuals cover up, lie or blame others? It could be because they do not want to get into trouble or it may be that they do not want to look bad, or thought less of by others. It could come from embarrassment or a fear of disappointing another person. They may be afraid that they will lose a friend or someone will be angry with them. They are pessimistic and see the mistake as permanent damage to themselves, even pervasive as in they “always” do this or this is just how I am.
We know though that anytime a mistake is made there is the possibility of a lesson being learned. When a person covers up or does not take responsibility they are in reality saying that with this mistake there is no lesson I can learn or will learn. The question we want to ask ourselves or our children is “What did you learn from this mistake?” If there is a lesson learned that we can put into practice – that is just a part of life and growing up!
So how do we handle mistakes as a Balanced Life Skills student?
Amends (fix it)
Remember though that in making amends it is about making it better for the person we hurt.
None of this can be forced but if we approach mistakes as an opportunity to learn a lesson we will continue to grow and develop our virtues
As a parent we can ask our children after they have made a mistake – What lesson did you learn? What could you do differently in the future? What virtue do you need to help you with this situation? How can I help you?
Optimism is believing that that growth and learning comes when we expect to do better next time – no matter if it is a math test or how we speak or treat those around us.
Optimism is critical to the health and success of our children in the future. In fact, it is #2 on the list of needs for children if they are to be resilient in life. If you would like to know what #1 is ask me on my YouTube Channel. I will answer it there. You may be surprised
Each month we will discuss one virtue with all of our students. This month’s virtue is Optimism. This will be defined in the following ways for our students.
Young students: I look on the bright side!
Older students: Believing and expecting that everything will work out for the best.
We are not your typical after school activity, in fact, we are an education center, working with students on physical self-defense skills while empowering families to bring out the best in our children and ourselves – through the martial arts. We believe every child has 52 gifts in them already. They only need to be taught how to grow and use them in their life. Balanced Life Skills serves parents, teachers, and students to reach that goal
Kindness is all about being of good to those that cross our path in life including people, animals, situations and the earth itself. When I think kindness I imagine showing care for the welfare of others as much as I care about myself without expecting anything in return. It is a way of copying what the universe does for us, providing air to breathe with nothing asked in return.
As parents who know that if our children grow up with kindness as a core virtue in their life that they will benefit and so will all that cross their path. In fact, some have stated that kindness is the greatest method of self-defense known to man. What does it look like in our day to day life?
Kindness at home embodies other virtues like helpfulness, caring, courtesy and responsibility. When we help each other with household chores, we are showing compassion. When we care for the needs of each other with courteous words, we honor the value of each person.
Kindness at school or for adults at work the simple gestures of holding the door for others, inviting new students or workmates to eat lunch together or supporting each other on projects is showing kindness.
Kindness in our community can be shown by helping out a neighbor, picking up trash or showing appreciation for animals by feeding birds in the winter. There are many simple ways of showing kindness in all aspects of our life. However, we find ourselves so busy and sometimes absorbed in our world, it is best for us to be purposeful about our practice.
From a parents point of view, our purposefully speaking about kindness, role modeling kindness and inviting the participation in kind acts with our children will build in them the desire and practice of thinking kindness and looking for ways to help others.
Each month we will discuss one virtue with all of our students. This month’s virtue is Kindness. This will be defined in the following ways for our students.
Young students: I use caring words and choose kind actions
Older students: Showing care, concern, and consideration for others without expecting anything in return.
We are not your typical after school activity, in fact, we are an education center, working with students on physical self-defense skills while empowering families to bring out the best in our children and ourselves – through the martial arts. We believe every child has 52 gifts in them already. They only need to be taught how to grow and use them in their life. Balanced Life Skills serves parents, teachers, and students to reach that goal.
We have spent some time discussing loyalty from the viewpoint of how others treat us, but just as important is how we show devotion to our family, values, morals and what we believe. Loyalty is intimately connected to faithfulness, integrity, and trustworthiness.
When I think about faithfulness to my family, I want to be sure to speak up for them, not speak poorly of them, giving them the respect they deserve as a family member. This is true for how we talk about our friends, community, schools, teams and other groups or organizations to which we belong. If there is a need to make corrections with them or to guide them in a different direction doing so in a manner that is disrespectful is not showing loyalty to them or our higher self.
Our integrity to our beliefs will keep us loyal to living our best selves in both public and private ways. How duplicitous it would be to be one kind of person at school and another at home. Or what if we supported a friend to their face and talked about them when they were not around? Keeping the integrity of our morals, values, and ethics no matter where we are or who we are with may take courage at times but is the practice of loyalty.
Trustworthiness grows when everyone knows who we are, what we stand for, and that we keep our word and commitments when we make them to a person, place or cause. Staying loyal to ourselves strengthens our courage to stand up for what is right. Living our life based on the principles we believe in grows our trust in ourselves and that of others around us.
With loyalty, our first commitment is to the truth.