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Charity: giving of our treasures

This month the word we are discussing is Charity.  This was always one of the main reasons I started this school.  The idea was that to build the very best students we could build they must learn and practice a wide variety of life skills.  One of them is the ability to give to others without expecting anything in return.

This is of course difficult at first for children as they have no income and I do not believe that just going in and getting canned food off of mom and dad’s pantry shelf and carrying it to school is exactly teaching them about service to others.  

So as we discuss charity it is giving of service or goods to those in need.  Those who need are ones who don’t have what they need to survive and be comfortable.   Our children will have a difficult time grasping that, but we can share with them the cost of food and how so many in our world today – in fact a large majority – live on less than $2 per day.  If you can show them how little that buys, they may begin to understand.  

The real question for me and others has been, what can our children do that is theirs and still be learning about giving.  One of the ways is by sharing some of our own treasures with others.  So when they outgrow their favorite shirt, or get new shoes, they can learn to share the old ones with others.  Or it may be a toy that they do not play with anymore.  Could they share it with a another child, perhaps one that is without toys.  

In addition to that lesson, if our child receives an allowance we could encourage them to put a part of their “treasure” towards giving to a charity or a cause that is important to them.  Doing these things at an early age helps to instill the concept of sharing our treasures with those who are in need.  

I have several students in our school who in lieu of birthday presents they accept donations of toys or books to be given to various community groups that help the homeless or are in some way disadvantaged.  When our child is able to do this, the act is not just about them anymore.  They are now acting as leaders in their community, setting the example for other children in giving to charity.

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How we think:  When we have a situation come up that is daunting, how many of us get to feeling that “we cannot do this”, or “oh this is a terrible situation”, or “this is too hard for me to do”.  When we start thinking like that we can very easily come up with all sorts of reasons why we cannot do the task.  That is how our brain works.  It looks through all of its files for proof for what we are thinking or feeling. 

Once we find one or more reasons that this task cannot be done by me, our body and mind shuts down and we make a decision not to do it or a decision not to even try.  We have convinced ourselves of these ‘facts’. 

The example I use with the students is riding a bicycle.  I am sure that all of us had our spills as we began to learn to ride a bike.  We would fall and someone would pick us up and we would try again.  Over and over we would do this till one day it happened for us.  We were riding, no one was holding the bike and we were controlling the whole experience. 

What if though when we had fallen off the bike at the beginning for the second or third time someone said to us, “You stink at bike riding!”, “you are never going to get it”, you always fall off”.  How would you have felt?  It would have been very discouraging and the next time you climbed up on the bike it may not have been with the same enthusiasm and belief that this was going to be the time that you would do it all by yourself.  You had placed in your mind negative thoughts and ideas and now your attitude had become negative too.

That would not have been a very good friend that was speaking to us in that manner.  In fact when I talk to the kids about this they tell me that they would never talk to a friend that way.  So I ask them what would you say to your friend that is falling off of their bike? 

They tell me that they would use encouraging words like, “you can do it’, “you almost did it that time”, “I had the same experience and I finally got it – you will too”, Keep trying, you will get it”.  Yes they had all kinds of ideas of encouraging things to say.  If we had a friend like that, we would learn to ride the bike pretty quickly because of all the positive energy around us.  Our thoughts and feeling would be positive and of course our actions would become positive results.

Now here is the question. If you would not talk to a friend with those kind of negative thoughts, why would you ever talk to yourself that way?  Our self talk is many times so mean and we will say things to ourselves that we would never say to a friend.  So I encourage you to talk to yourself in a way that creates a positive feeling rather than a negative one.  Ask yourself when you hear the negative way of thinking coming out if you would talk to a friend that way.  If what you are saying to yourself you would not say to a friend, then choose not to say it to yourself.  Treat yourself the way you would treat others.  You deserve it. 

This is not an idea of making everything positive all the time and living in La La Land. No you are your own best friend, so treat yourself that way.  Talk to yourself in a positive way and you will find that you will have a positive attitude and will accomplish more with the skills that you have.


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BLS work influences others in the United States

I want to share with our community the influence our school has had on others in the nation.  This past spring I had a conversation with another martial arts instructor who has the same values and beliefs that we have here at Balanced Life Skills.  He wanted to know how to do the Rain Barrel project.  We talked at some length and gave him our rain barrel website.  The following video will show you the results when one of his students took the lead in a major way. 

 

So here is our challenge.  Who in our school will step up with their own project?  Who will take the lead in contributing to solving a problem in our community or the world?

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Attitude: 3 things that control our attitude

I know of no parent that has not said to one of their children, “ Don’t give me an attitude!”.  We all know that we are talking about a bad attitude – one that is negative and disrespectful.  Yet most of us if we were truthful with ourselves would have to admit that from time to time we too have that “bad attitude”.   Interestingly in a recent article in the journal; Expert Review of Neurotherapeutics (April, 2009) that it is true that there are some people who are just more positive than others, but that only 50% of happiness is determined genetically.  Where do you think the rest of ability to be positive and happy came from?  Yes it was ourselves.

There are three things that only we have control over that have an affect on our attitude, whether we are 5 years old or 85.  They are how we feel, think and act.  I am sure you have seen this before.  If someone is thinking and feeling things in an optimistic way, they also act in a positive way.  If they think and feel more pessimistically, then they act in a negative way no matter how hard they try to cover it up and “act” positive.  

The way we see the world, how we feel it is treating us, the way we think and act influences in a great way our Attitude.  It affects our relations with others including our closest friends, to how we respond to events in our lives and even the very mundane day to day life.  

So what is attitude and can we choose the attitude we want to have?  What influence do we have on our children when it comes to their attitude?  Can we help them to approach their day in a more positive way?  As parents we influence how our children see the world, so what are strategies do you use to have a positive attitude?

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Work on dangerous trends facing our children

As many of you know, I have been working on gathering information on the dangerous trends facing our children today.  Recently a news story and the words of a sheriff and renowned expert has demonstrated how important it is that all of us work together on being aware of the issues and knowing how to tackle them with our own children.  The news item is below in this interview.  In reference to this I am recommending that all of us who are parents read the book The Good Girl Curse by Rachael Simmons, especially if we are the parent of a girl, but the information is applicable to both our boys and girls. 

 

If you would like to help us do this research and get this information to the community please join in the conversation at Life Art Peace – Trends Research.  If you have any questions about how you can help contact me directly,  Joe Van Deuren on our contact page here.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

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Children & hot cars do not mix

Excerpt from Parenting.com  that is an important reminder.

Sadly, since the beginning of this year, 18 kids have died from hyperthermia (heatstroke) in unattended cars– a record high since record keeping began in 1998. And summer has only just begun.
please take a look at these safety tips from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA):


  • Never leave a child unattended in a vehicle.
  • Never leave infants or children in a parked vehicle, even if the windows are partially open or with the engine running and the air conditioning on.
  • Make a habit of looking in the vehicle — front and back — before locking the door and walking away.
  • If you are bringing your child to daycare, and normally it’s your spouse or partner who brings them, have your spouse or partner call you to make sure everything went according to plan.
  • Ask your childcare provider to call you if your child does not show up for childcare.


Do things to remind yourself that a child is in the vehicle, such as:

  • Writing yourself a note and putting the note where you will see it when you leave the vehicle;
  • Placing your purse, briefcase or something else you need in the back seat so that you will have to check the back seat when you leave the vehicle; or
  • Keeping an object in the car seat, such as a stuffed toy. When the child is buckled in, place the object where the driver will notice it when he or she is leaving the vehicle.
  • If you see a child alone in a hot vehicle, call the police. If they are in distress due to heat, get them out as quickly as possible. Warning signs may include: red, hot, and moist or dry skin, no sweating, a strong rapid pulse or a slow weak pulse, nausea or acting strangely. Cool the child rapidly. Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.


For more ideas on how you can insure that this will not happen to you check out this Parenting Website for more information.