Posted on

Parents are Leaders: Value Your Team

When individuals feel like they are making a difference at their workplace, or when they have an impact on a life when they are volunteering for a non-profit, it makes them feel valuable and gives meaning to the time they are spending on a project or for a company.  In this series of posts on leadership and parenting we are making comparisons between the two.

As parents it is important to realize that our children need to feel like they too are making a contribution to the vision and goals of the family.   As you are building this important team, our family, Continue reading “Parents are Leaders: Value Your Team”

Posted on

Project Leadership: Influencing others to follow

There are so many promises made by individuals and groups saying that they will make your son or daughter a leader.  In fact one school in Pennsylvania claims to be the best school in the country for creating leaders out of any female student that comes to their school.   While leadership skills can be learned about from a classroom – true leadership comes from doing and can only be measured by the amount of influence you may have earned.

Your circle of influence will grow over time, but only if you are able to demonstrate certain things in your own life.  First you must have good character that is recognized by others.  Second you must build relationships with others.  Third you must know your subject that you are trying to have an effect on.  Fourth, having good intuition for the next right thing to do.  Fifth a certain amount of experience.  Sixth, what have you done in the past.  Seventh, what are your abilities?

Now anyone can start their role as leaders, but should start with small projects and then use the knowledge, experience, intuition and success they have to go on to larger projects.  That is the reason we encourage our young students to do small projects like doing acts of kindness and then getting others to join with them in doing acts of kindness.  Some of our students have on their own and then with others played musical instruments at senior homes, or set up hot chocolate stands and used the money for the Lighthouse Shelter.

These are the beginning steps to larger projects in the future where they will be able to use their good character, relationships and experience to influence others to join them in accomplishing good for their community.

Posted on

Martial arts helps us be the change you want to see!

As we get into the New Year we wonder what will it be like?  What awaits us in the year ahead?  Will there be problems or will it be full of blessings?  Ghandi in a very famous quote said, ” Be the change that you want to see in the world.”  Many times we are what we see.

There is a story that goes something like this.  One traveler getting close to a city stopped and asked an old man by the road what the people were like in the city ahead.  He was asked what were they like in the city you just came from?, and he was told they were untrustworthy.  The old man said, “You will find them to be the same in the city ahead.”

A second traveler came by the same old man and asked the same question.  Yet he found the people in the previous city to be warm and generous, and the old man said, “You will find them to be the same in the city ahead.”

The way we see others, the way we live our lives is what we will see in others.  If I am a critical person, I will most likely see others as being critical.  If I am a trusting person, I am more likely to view others as trustworthy.  If you change yourself and become the person you desire to be, you will begin to view others in a whole new light and that will change how you interact in all of your relationships.

Practicing the martial arts opened me to better ways of looking at myself and others, being kinder and accepting of where we are at this very moment and growing from there.  It does this by leading us in  incremental improvements that lead to quite impressive results.  But you must experience it to understand it.

Posted on

3 keys to communication in the family

When I talk to our students about Teamwork I point out to them that the most important team that we are on is our FAMILY.  No other team needs the cooperation and vision that our family needs for long term success of all members.  Of course the leaders of that team is Mom & Dad.  While every team leader has different responsibilities, there are a couple of foundational standards that are true for all teams and especially families.

1.  Be consistent. Whether it is setting the rules, the making of decisions or in keeping our word, consistency is one standard that team members depend on.

2.  Be clear. Set forth what the values, morals and ethics are for your family.  Setting these expectations make it clear to all what is expected and it is much easier to follow a leader with clear expectations.

3.  Be courteous. By showing respect for everyone in your family, even the child that is giving you the hardest time at that moment, as a leader you are setting the tone for the family.  Everyone in the family is watching to see how you will deal with the member of your team that is not following the rules, determining for themselves how they will be treated.  Trust and respect can be gained or lost based on our being courteous to one another.

Teams / Families always reflect their leaders.  As the leader of our team / family we set the tone for respect being shown to each other and to those on the outside.   By setting the example with consistent, clear, and courteous communication with our team, the team will be more willing to participate and voice their thoughts and feelings, which in the end is what all parents want to have with their children.

Posted on

2011: What are you excited about?

Drawing to the end of the year is a time that we reflect on the year behind and on the one yet to come.   As you look forward to the year ahead, what are you looking forward to?  What is it that you are excited about?  What are you wanting to learn about?

When you make it a goal to always be learning and to expanding you are constantly recharging your batteries.  There is an excitement about getting up in the morning to get on to the next discovery.  Tony Robbins suggests that when we get up in the morning that we ask ourselves What am I most happy, excited, proud and grateful about today.  This starts the day off in an optimistic mood.   If we start our years, months and days like that, everyday will be a day of personal growth.

I have found that as I grow, it brings improvement not only to myself, but also to those who might be in my circle of influence.  As many of you already know I am working to have an affect on the subject of bullying this year.  In particular interest that I want to learn more about is the subject of relational aggression.  Known as RA in the group of individuals studying bullies and in particular among females this is one of those under the radar ways of bullying that has very long term affect on the lives and personalities of our young girls and women.  That is one of the areas that I want to improve my knowledge and understanding.

What about yourself?  Are you interested in that subject or what is it that you want to grow in this year?  What areas are you encouraging your children to grow?  Leave your comments here or send me an email and let me know.

Posted on

Goal setting: Fall down 7, Get up 8

One of the most difficult parenting challenges we have is seeing our child fail at a task that we know that they really want to achieve.  In fact many parents have a tendency to do everything in their power to not allow their child fail – at almost anything.  We have discussed before how important it is for children to learn that failure is part of life and that we can reorganize and try again.  I am reminded of Thomas Edison, who after his factory burned to the ground said something to the affect of, that now they could get started on some new and better ideas.

This is a good time of the year as we look at what we have done this year and see the areas of our own failure to reach a goal to evaluate how we will react.  Our own reaction will teach our children how to reevaluate and move forward.  Take a look at this acronym and use it as a guide to moving forward.

F – finalize your goal

O – order your plans

R – risk failing by taking action

W – welcome mistakes

A – advance based on your character

R – reevaluate your progress continually

D – develop new strategies to succeed

If you stay determined, and are willing to get up when you have been knocked down, you will achieve not only your goals but also your dreams.