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Back in Maryland

Wudang improvised Christmas Tree

Just a quick post to let everyone know I am back in Maryland for the holidays. This is very exciting and refreshing for me. I get to see old friends, eat familiar foods, and bask in the comfort of familiar culture. There is a joy here that can’t be captured in words, when despite having learned to accept adversity in everyday life, there is little adversity on hand to test me. That is what coming home from China means to me.

It also means I’ll be around to talk, teach, and demonstrate on what I’ve been doing in Wudang. I have scheduled classes on Saturday mornings in North Beach through Calvert County Parks and Rec. I hope they will be a hit. Though I am still working out the details of my schedule at Balanced Life Skills, I am sure you will be seeing me around. Particularly, look for demonstrations in the first week or so of January.

Happy Holidays to you all

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Why Martial Arts?

I’ve had the chance to try a few different kinds of exercise and methods for improving the body and mind. Soccer, PE classes, lacrosse, yoga, running, swimming, and other pursuits. My experience here in Wudang has helped me understand how vitally important maintaining your body is (I’ve come to think of it as rather like brushing your teeth- you feel better if you do it, and if you don’t, you won’t have much to work with a few years down the road). But so much of my training here is only tangentially martial in nature. So sometimes I wonder, “Why martial arts?” Couldn’t I be just as happy studying yoga or some other art that would keep my mind and body connected without the occasional traumatic punch to the face? Why do I instinctively feel that there is something special about martial arts?

I have quite a few answers for myself, but recently I have been thinking about a new way in which the “martial” bit of martial arts is crucial. What it does is it teaches, in very clear, black and white terms, the lessons of personal responsibility and acceptance. Under the supervision of an attentive teacher or master, the dynamics of a fight or sparring match (and the preparation for such)  strip away excuses and provide clear consequences. Getting hit stinks. You quickly learn to want to avoid that at all cost. But if you got hit, it is because you let your opponent hit you. Hitting you is your opponent’s job. There is no, “I wasn’t ready,” no,” That’s not fair,” no, “Can we do that over?” At the same time, you can’t dwell on the pain of the last hit. You have to accept it instantly and move on, or experience it again, and worse.

Under a good teacher or master, this acceptance of pain and responsibility spreads from the fighting scenario into daily training, and from there into daily life. If you got hit, you need to prepare better, train harder. If you didn’t train hard enough, it’s because you felt ill because you ate too much or didn’t sleep enough the night before. If you didn’t sleep enough, it’s because you procrastinated at work or school and had to stay up late to finish a project. You are %100 responsible for all of these things. At the same time, when once you mess up, you have to accept it and use it to get ready for next time, because next time is coming. There are other ways to learn these lessons, but the martial arts are teaching them to me in clear, non-negotiable terms.

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Balanced Life Skills Supports Teens in County Foster Care

For the past 5 weeks Balanced Life Skills has been seeking the support and help of local businesses and individuals in our efforts to support teens from Anne Arundel County who find themselves in foster care. There are over 100 teens in foster care who in our opinion deserve to have a nice Christmas this year. Over the last couple of years we have been able to give them a gift card or two for them to take to the store and find something that they would like to have.

This year has been a bit more difficult and we are appealing to all in our area to help us in this final week to provide a small gift card to each of these teens. I have attached a letter and form for making a contribution either by cash or gift card for this very worthy endeavor. Foster Teens request

Thank you for your assistance and please share this request with others.  A small donation by many will be the way we make a difference in the lives of these young boys and girls.

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Thoughtful Ways of Showing Gratitude

What are we thankful for?  Out of everyone’s mouth come the ‘standard’ answers of health, family and friends.  Sometimes we think even deeper and we will talk about those who have done something for us, we may talk about a teacher or mentor, or we may have an extraordinary experience that has fundamentally changed who we are.  Have you had one of those experiences, where you see or have an experience that makes you think differently?  Maybe you or someone you love came close to death, or your touched by a story you hear or see that calls you to a different action than your normal activity.

This morning I received an email from an individual whom I have studied his work for a short time, Gary Ryan Blair.  He suggest that we practice gratitude.  Now that by itself is not a new thought, as I have mentioned previously, starting each day off with the question, What am I grateful for? is a great way to start your day on a positive note.  But Mr. Blair suggest these ways of practicing gratitude and giving thanks for being alive is:

Accept 100% responsibility for your life Behave like a gentleman and lady, Commit your life to excellence, Deliver exceptional results, Exceed expectations, Focus on solutions, Gracefully age, Honor your commitments, Inspire through your actions, Joyfully embrace each day, Keep your promises, Leave a lasting legacy, Model best practices, Necessitate high, uniform, ethical standards, Open your mind to new ideas, Passionately pursue your dreams, Quickly solve problems, Reciprocate and pay it forward, Showcase your talents, Talk lovingly, Undertake challenging tasks, Vote and defend democracy, Welcome and embrace change, Zealously do what is right, good and noble.

As you look at these suggestions think of gratitude as an action item and not a passive statement.  If you are not sure, check out those that have less than, and who seem to find a way to make a difference and to use what they have to benefit others.  Then Practice Gratefulness.

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Thanks to you!

After only 28 weeks (and many cups of coffee) since joining BLS, all of you have become such an important part of my life! That might seem silly to say, seeing as most of you come in only once or twice a week and see me for a few minutes before taking a seat.

However, my eight hours a day largely involves you! Whether it’s planning the next event, staring at attendance sheets and enrollment spreadsheets, overflowing your inbox with emails, or trying to fix a mistake on your account (just kidding, Mr. Joe!), I spend the majority of my day with you – or at least thinking about you!

And that’s made you important to me. It means a lot to me when I learn about your weekend, or get presented with your child’s hand drawn pictures and cards. The laughs are contagious and high-fives are endless! I am surrounded by smiles, stories, and ideas that shape my outlook each day, which are always positive and inspiring. I can’t even begin to count how many of you have influenced speeches for my communications class, or unknowingly given me great advice which I apply to my own family.

Thank you is all I really want to say. Thank you for making my work days so enjoyable and not feel like work. Thank you for making Balanced Life Skills such a pleasant place to be each day. And Thank you for being a part of my life! I hope I can be all of that for you in return, every time I see you, if only for a few minutes once or twice a week.

Have a very happy Thanksgiving!