General Topics |

January 7, 2013

Is it OK for our kids to fail?

There is nothing that we learn to do that we get perfect the first time. Failing, learning and trying again is key to success in life.

Is it OK for our kids to fail – to not have the success that they want? In examining the question of allowing our kids to fail there are a couple of things that come up including, why we do not want them to fail and what would the results be if they did fail.

In our society today many parents do not want their children to fail because they are afraid of what it will do to their ‘confidence’, ‘self esteem’, or view of themselves. However, many times it also has to do with wanting to keep up with our friends, not being left behind, or what others will think.

If we raise our children to be ‘failure free’ what we will end up with is a child whose expectations of the world are unrealistic, expecting everything to go their way. I don’t know about you – but that is not the way my life went. We will have children who are constantly looking for ways to sidestep the expectations, make excuses for what they do or even cheat to get what they want or feel they deserve. Finally they will be young adults who do not have the skills to take on challenges and know how to fail and get up and try again.

If we protect them from failure we will have also protected them from an opportunity to succeed due to great effort. Their muscles will not have been strengthened to persevere and overcome obstacles. We hear a lot about children and adults needing resilience. Failures teach children that they will not break, they can have failures and come back and use what they have learned to become better the next time. This is the key to resilience and strong, confident kids.

December 29, 2012

Reconciling Health Practice and Real Life

DaoistHealth — Link to Article on www.wudanggongfu.com

I am back! I have been back in Maryland enjoying the comforts of home for about a week and a half. As with every time I come home, I have been dealing with the challenge of balancing two conflicting urges. One urge is the desire to maintain the healthy lifestyle I have in Wudang. The other impulse it to abandon myself to the rhythm of life here at home.

It is always amazing to me just how difficult this balance is to achieve. Life at home generally means eating too much of the wrong foods, drinking too much, and staying up too late at night. But it is REALLY hard to relax and enjoy friends and family while remaining aloof from the unhealthy behaviors.

In this way, I think I am much in the same boat we all are in during the holidays: we want to indulge because that is the tradition of celebration, but we know that at some point soon we will have to do something to correct the holiday excess.

This is the frame of mind I was in when I read an article my Master wrote last month. He explained to my class his thoughts when writing it. Shifu believes strongly in Daoist methods and their ability to improve people’s lives. But he was concerned because only a few people, like myself, were able or willing to come to Wudang for a long time and learn the techniques. So he wanted to distill the most fundamental part of our health practice and provide it in a more accessible curriculum.

That is how this article and the associated course came to be. Reading it myself, a lot of the “why” information was new to me, but the benefits and methods themselves were familiar: this is how Shifu has taught us to live while we are training. I have been learning this by living it for the last few years. But this article is meant to reach out from traditional Daoist methods and appeal to the more analytical western mind. As a bridge, it may seem a little strange to those standing on either shore, but take a look.

I hope people will consider Shifu’s ideas carefully. Even if you can’t picture yourself hopping on an airplane bound for China in April, I think the article contains insights into healthy living that people in our crazy world need to have.

Link to Shifu’s Article: http://www.wudanggongfu.com/kungfu/2013.html

December 29, 2012

Life Skills: Empathy – The Definition

Each month we define and discuss a word of character development and a life skill with all of our students.

This month the word is Empathy and will be defined this way.

Young students: Empathy means, “I can imagine how you feel.”

Older students: Empathy means: Reading, understanding and responding to other people’s feelings.

The worksheets for our students can be found on our member site: Balanced Life Skills Students Would you like to be a member of Balanced Life Skills? Become a member to open up conversations on the important things in life for our children.

If you would like to see how we will talk about Empathy with our students please follow our discussions here during the month of January or come in and TRY A CLASS.

December 23, 2012

Balanced Life Skills Visual Arts is coming!

Our goals for the next few years is to have a martial arts, visual arts and performing arts as a part of our programs, reaching children where they are, building character, confidence and contribution. Here is our first program in the visual arts – ART IN MIND – developed and presented by Jen Selby, black belt candidate 2013. Please JOIN us on February 18 for a preview. Invite your friends to be a part of a revolution for all students. CLICK HERE TO SEE HOW THE PREVIEW WENT FOR THE ART IN MIND CLASS

December 23, 2012

BLS student highlighted on CNN

One of our students, Kaelyn, was highlighted on CNN for the letter she wrote to the families of Sandy Hook ES in Newtown, CT. Here a link to the report: Children reach out to Newtown

In addition I have enclosed a letter written by Sarah Montgomery with the Chesapeake Life Center in regard to helping our children and ourselves with these difficult conversations. I hope this information is helpful to you and all in our community. If more help is needed please feel free to call on us here at Balanced Life Skills or our friends at the Chesapeake Life Center.

Dear Chesapeake Life Center Family and Friends,

It is with sadness that we, along with the rest of the country, process the tragic loss of life at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut. As my nine year old daughter prepared for bedtime Friday evening, we talked about what had happened and she said, “Mom, the parents must be especially sad because school is supposed to be a safe place.” Yes, school is supposed to be a safe place. Continue reading “BLS student highlighted on CNN”

December 17, 2012

Showing support for the families in Newtown, CT

Dear Parents and Friends,

With the recent events in Connecticut all of us have been struck by very deep emotions and feelings of wanting to help and support the families involved. Personally I would love to be able to go and sit and support personally each of the families of the students and teachers and others that were so close to the situation. For me this is not possible, so I have thought of another way that I would like to support them.

I would like to encourage all of us to write a letter of support or create / buy a card with a note of support that we can send to the Family Services group in Newtown. I believe this is a good way for us to get our feelings on paper and to demonstrate our support for the families. There will be time in the future to have the other conversations we need to have as a country, but now lets support the families in this manner.

On Friday December 22 I will take all the collected cards and letters and mail them to Newtown to be distributed to the families. (NO POSTAGE REQUIRED ON YOUR PART) If you would like to take part in this demonstration of support please bring your letter or card to Balanced Life Skills by end of day on Friday the 22nd. I will get them in the mail that evening (Fed Ex) so they arrive prior to Christmas.

Thank you for supporting this effort of healing.

Sincerely,

Joe Van Deuren

PS. If you feel like you would like to donate funds to a group that will be dealing with these families long after everyone else is gone I would suggest the Newtown Youth and Family Services.