Exciting Goings On

Beijing Demo 01I’ve fallen out of my rhythm with my blog for the last month or more, on account of all the exciting goings-on here in Wudang.

The biggest holiday of the year in China and many other Asian countries it the Spring Festival, the new years celebration of the traditional lunar calendar. Much like watching the ball drop in New York City for Americans, Chinese television features one big gala TV event on the eve of Spring Festival. It is a sort of variety show, with different acts over the course of the evening, celebrity MCs, and lots of pageantry. But while Wikipedia says that 22.6 million Americans watched Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve in 2012, past Spring Festival galas have had a viewership of 700-800 million, while this year it is projected to reach a billion people.

When I say exciting goings-on, I mean that my classmates and I have the opportunity to compete for a place on this show. In the end of August, five of us choreographed and rehearsed a demonstration of Wudang kungfu that we traveled to Beijing to perform on a competition show called 我要上春晚 (I want to perform New Years Eve). We won, and then our entire class won a second round of competition in September. We will do one more round in early December, and if all goes well we’ll be in Beijing for a chunk of January preparing for the big event itself.

This is exciting, a great opportunity for us to help our shifu promote his school and a once-in-a-lifetime experience for all of us. But as is frequently the case with once-in-a-lifetime experiences, it is requiring no small amount of sacrifice and determination to realize.

First, of course, we would never be considered for such an event if we had not put a great deal of effort and dedication into our training already. We are foreigners who are seeking a deep understanding of a uniquely Chinese philosophy and tradition that is even beyond the comprehension of many natives of this language and culture.

However, it is hard for some of us to adapt our outlook to an entertainment environment. I don’t think anyone would ever endure the training we have done in order to get on TV — there must be easier ways. So it is difficult for some of us to accept that the culmination of more than four years of deeply personal struggle and agonizing progress, which each of us has undergone for personal reasons verging on religious conviction, should be the seemingly trivial outlet of television performance.

Second, there have been endless challenges of planning and re-planning. The director of the show is understandably busy managing and orchestrating all the many acts vying for a place in the show, so our performance dates have been changed and changed again. And again. This would not be a problem any other time of the year, but with it being illegal for us as foreigners to stay in China for more than 12 months at a stretch without crossing the borders, and our regular yearly holiday falling in December/January, my classmates and I have been put to great effort and expense adjusting flight bookings and travel plans over and over.

I am lucky, and unlucky. Because I stay in America longer than my classmates in order to save the money I need for training each year, my 12 months in-country will not be over until March. But that means I must stay through the holidays and miss Christmas with my family and friends, and that is a bit of a downer. But even if this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity is a bit of a double edged sword, I am pretty excited to be part of it.

I do not know for how long this link will be active, but here is our performance in round one of the qualifying competition. Not bad for a start, but we can and will do better.

http://search.cctv.com/playVideo.php?qtext=20131006+%E6%88%91%E8%A6%81%E4%B8%8A%E6%98%A5%E6%99%9A&detailsid=4ead6b4cfd7f46dc8f8b2b948b13052f&aid=C21299&title=[%E6%88%91%E8%A6%81%E4%B8%8A%E6%98%A5%E6%99%9A]%E6%AD%A6%E6%9C%AF%E8%A1%A8%E6%BC%94%E3%80%8A%E6%AD%A6%E9%81%93%E6%97%A0%E7%95%8C%E3%80%8B%20%E8%A1%A8%E6%BC%94%EF%BC%9A%E6%AD%A6%E5%BD%93%E9%81%93%E5%AE%B6%E6%AD%A6%E6%9C%AF%E9%98%9F%2020131006

Why Does My Child Get So Angry?

angry childChildren who are seemingly irrational in their anger, and who begin to act out aggressively can be a danger to themselves and to others. From the outside it looks like they are triggered by very small actions, but the rage that they act out is many times out of much larger fears, emotional hurt, or a feeling of powerlessness or helplessness.

Interestingly both adults and children who explode are not been able to see the bigger picture, or see anyone that stands in the way of them getting their needs met as the enemy and so that little part of their brain – the one that is meant to protect them – reacts in a fight or flight manner. In the person who explodes, the reaction is to fight and protect themselves.

Determining the needs that are not getting met is part of helping the child or adult overcome the outbursts of anger as a reaction to their triggers. When we can find the needs that need to be met, then we can work on finding more healthy way of meeting those needs. When working with children, some of the work will be with the child and parts of it will be helping parents understand how they can help their child to be more relaxed and confident in themselves.

Anger: Do You Explode or Implode?

urlMany times parents will say to me that their child holds it all in and does not express themselves and other parents are concerned because their child seems to be set off very easily and are not shy about expressing their anger.  Neither approach is healthy!

The exploder is the person who can go from zero to one hundred in a split second. Their anger many times does not seem rational. It is aggressive and in this high state of emotion they become a danger to those around them and a danger to themselves. Many times they will apologize afterwards and may express regret for their behavior.  When we think of a picture of anger being demonstrated we think about exploders.

The imploder will bottle up their anger, for long periods of time and may be known as being sensitive. They in fact have a fear of anger – both their own and that of others but can get so filled with anger that they explode also. It is like the anger can no longer be contained and it spills out all over the place. As an observer we may not even see it coming.  There is a great deal of harm done to ourselves when we keep all that anger inside ourselves, both physically and emotionally.

Do you recognize either of these in yourself or in your children?  Learning to manage our anger is a step by step process. We can learn to be assertive without being aggressive. As parents it is our goal to model this for our children. Children can learn too how to see anger as a feeling that is normal and to express their anger in a healthy manner.  Teaching these skills is the key to anger management education.

Is Yelling Safe?

If more than half of all parents are yelling at their kids, what are the results?  Is yelling any different than physical abuse?  Here is an interesting interview that is based on research done at University of Michigan and Pittsburg.

 

Fire Prevention Week

firePrevention2013This week coming up is National Fire Prevention Week with the theme this year of Prevent Kitchen Fires”. This time of the year is when we see the most home fires taking place for a number of reasons. New students in college dorms making careless mistakes. More cooking taking place indoors. Fireplace use goes up in the fall with increased risk.

Here are a couple of the suggestions made about preventing kitchen fires.

  • Do not walk away from anything that is cooking on the stove or the oven
  • Keep pot holders and towels away from the stove and oven while cooking
  • Do not hang flammable fabrics from the handle of the oven
  • Be sure to keep a fire extinguisher in the kitchen.

Have a safety plan and escape plan and practice it at least twice each year. Timing the drills at the same time you change the batteries in your smoke detectors would be a good reminder for all in the family about fire prevention safety. If you want to learn more about fire safety – visit your local fire department. It is a fun trip for the kids!

Life Skills: Focus – The Definition

Teaching Children Life Skills

 

Each month we will discuss a life skill with all of our students. This month the word is Focus. This word will be defined in the following ways for our students.

 

 

Young students: Focus: “I concentrate really hard on one thing at a time – and don’t let anything distract me!”

Older students: Focus means: ”Using laser-like concentration even when there are distractions.”

Each age group has a worksheet that parents can use to continue the discussion at home with their children, and one for adults to allow them to think more deeply about the skill and how it applies to them. Would you like to receive the worksheet? Stop by our studio at 133 Gibralter Avenue in Annapolis, MD and tell us the age of your child. We will give you a worksheet and invite you to watch Mr. Joe discuss the word with the students in class.  You can also follow our discussions here on this website.

If you would like to become a member of Balanced Life Skills, come TRY CLASSES FOR FREE.   We are not your typical martial arts school, in fact we are an education center, working with our students on physical skills along with empowering families with compassion, awareness and respect. We believe in every child and build their self – confidence.  Balanced Life Skills takes part in community service and encourages each student to do the same.

Come in and talk to the parents that are here and watch the class for the age group you are interested in.