Blog | - Part 59

March 30, 2014

Life Skills: Kindness – The Definition

Each month we will discuss a life skill with all of our students. This month the word is Kindness. This word will be defined in the following ways for our students.

Young students: Kindness means: “I use caring words and gentle actions!”

Older students: Kindness means: Showing care, concern, and consideration for others without expecting anything in return

Each age group has a worksheet that parents can use to continue the discussion at home with their children, and one for adults to allow them to think more deeply about the skill and how it applies to them. Would you like to receive the worksheet? Stop by our studio at 133 Gibralter Avenue in Annapolis, MD and tell us the age of your child. We will give you a worksheet and invite you to watch Mr. Joe discuss the word with the students in class. You can also follow our discussions here on this website.

If you would like to become a member of Balanced Life Skills, come TRY CLASSES FOR FREE. We are not your typical martial arts school, in fact we are an education center, working with our students on physical skills along with empowering families with compassion, awareness and respect – creating a culture of peace. We believe in every child and build their self – confidence. Balanced Life Skills takes part in community service and encourages each student to do the same.

Come in and talk to the parents that are here and watch the class for the age group you are interested in. Learn about the Balanced Life Skills Way.

March 28, 2014

BLS has a new app!

We have a new app.

It has our twitter feed on it and I am sure I will learn to use it effectively. Here is a link to download the app on to your phone or tablet.

http://codu.co/22bd42

This was provided by an app creator that I met at another project that we both have an interest in – on self esteem.

March 28, 2014

The voice inside your head may be lying to you

Everyone of us has a voice inside our head that talks to us when things are going well and when they are not going well. The voice tells us how we “should” feel, when we are having any given experience. We may not hear it loud and clear and yet we do hear it in a way that changes our feelings and behavior. That voice reflects what we have come to believe. Those beliefs create our consequences.

So if I have negative thoughts, telling myself that I am not enough, whether it is smart enough, tall enough, rich enough, popular enough or whatever it is – we are telling ourselves we are not “good enough”. This thinking keeps us from being hopeful. It keeps us from believing that things can or will work out for the best. What could you say to yourself though that would be more positive and give you hope?

You could tell yourself – “I can get better” or “I’ll keep trying” or my two favorite ones – “I have a good life”, or “I am enough”.

Saying positive things to ourselves is the start to believing in yourself and feeling more hopeful and optimistic.

March 22, 2014

The JNP Project – children finding “Inner Awesome”

For the past year I have been working on an advisory board with a project called “The JNP Project”. This project is a movement promoting the understanding and education of self confidence, self esteem and character building for children. It will be done interactively with books, web resources, and more. There are lesson resources for parents and teachers and they align with Common Core State Standards for Grades 1-4.

While I have been involved for the last year, there are also many people who have been involved across the world – all of whom have a passion for helping parents and teachers help children to find their “Inner Awesome”. The project is in its infancy and not born yet – but our goal is to have it ready for everyone in June. Having an inside track though, I would like to share where we are with the project at this time with you. So here is the link to the site and please stay tune: http://thejnpproject.com/

This project ties so closely to everything that we are working on at Balanced Life Skills with all of our students. I look forward to sharing more with everyone as we progress with the JNP Project. Thank you Dona Rudderow Sturn for inviting me to be a part of your vision and a big thank you to all of those individuals around the world who share this vision for the children of the world.

March 21, 2014

Fixing a mistake with one question and optimism

Let us look at the Balanced Life Skills way of dealing with a mistake that we have made. Everyone makes mistakes. Unfortunately both adults and children find it very hard to look at making a mistake in an optimistic point of view. We are worried about how we will look, what others will think about us or how much trouble we are going to get into. Being accountable for our mistakes, recognizing the contribution we have made to the situation shows that we believe we can learn from mistakes and that in the end everything will work out for the best.

Step one is admitting to our mistake. Not blaming others, making excuses, being accountable.
Step two is apologizing. “I am sorry.” Three separate words emphasized in the manner that we mean them and not shortened to a quick “sorry” with the inflection in our voice that makes everyone involved question our sincerity.
Step three is ‘fix it’. Did you spill your drink? – clean it up. Did you lose a friends toy? – replace it.

In our discussions in class though we asked the students how would you ‘fix it” if you did something like yell at your sibling or worse yet at your parents. They were stymied. You can’t fix that, they said.

You can fix it but there is only one way of fixing this kind of mistake. Go through steps one and two, then ask yourself – what must I do to be sure this does not happen again? We all agreed that if we simply say ‘sorry’ and yet we continue to do the same thing over and over again, that no one believes that our apology is very real. Admitting we did something wrong requires that we look deeply at how we can make the changes necessary to be sure that we control our anger, impulses, body and not make that kind of mistake over and over again.

In this way our optimism is well based in our belief that everything will work out for the best.

March 20, 2014

Optimistic People Tell The Truth

Optimism believes that everything will work out for the best. (it usually does!) — The truth NEVER gets you in trouble. Your actions bring consequences.

Everyone makes mistakes, either physically, verbally, emotionally, or mentally. When we make a mistake, do we deal with it from an optimistic or pessimistic point of view? The optimistic viewpoint would be, “believing and expecting that everything will work out for the best.” If we are pessimistic we might be thinking, “if I admit to this mistake it will ruin everything. We may be worried about getting into trouble, being embarrassed or our reputation ruined. It could be that when we make a mistake we are afraid of our friends and family being angry with us or that they won’t like us anymore.

When someone starts thinking pessimistically when they make a mistake, they may resort to blaming others, denying having made the mistake or even knowing anything about it. They may make up excuses / reasons for the “real reason this happened”.

Ask yourself though – When was the last time you got in trouble for telling the truth? The answer is NEVER. No one gets in trouble for telling the truth. We only get in deeper when we choose to be pessimistic and believe our life is over if we get caught in our mistake and resort to lying or stretching the truth. That is not to say that we will not have to deal with the consequences. But that is natural and only correct. if we spill the milk – the consequence is that we are responsible for cleaning it up. If we talk about someone behind their back, we must deal with the repercussions – but there are no repercussions for telling the truth.

When we make a mistake we need to first admit it (“I made a mistake.”), then apologize (“I am sorry.”), and then fix it. When we handle mistakes in this manner we are showing that we are optimistic and hopeful that everything will work out for the best, and it usually does!