Life Skills: Confidence – The Definition

Word of monthEach month we will discuss a life skill with all of our students. This month the word is Confidence.  This word will be defined in the following ways for our students.

Young students: Compassion means: “I believe in me and you!”

Older students: Compassion means:  Complete trust in ourselves and others.

Each age group has a worksheet that parents can use to continue the discussion at home with their children, and one for adults to allow them to think more deeply about the skill and how it applies to them. Would you like to receive the worksheet? Stop by our studio at 133 Gibralter Avenue in Annapolis, MD and tell us the age of your child. We will give you a worksheet and invite you to watch Mr. Joe discuss the word with the students in class.  You can also follow our discussions here on this website.

If you would like to become a member of Balanced Life Skills, come TRY CLASSES FOR FREE.   We are not your typical after school activity, in fact we are an education center, working with our students on physical skills along with empowering families with compassion, awareness and respect – creating a culture of peace – through the arts.  We believe in every child and build their self – confidence.  Balanced Life Skills takes part in community service and encourages each student to do the same.

Three Arts… One Dojo

The mission of Balanced Life Skills is to cultivate awareness, compassion and respect in all of our students.  We do this by helping them be aware of the negative messages that they hear and then be compassionate with themselves by replacing them with positive messages.  Replacing the negative thoughts we have with positive ones will help them to be willing to put forth greater effort in studying for school, trying new things, even standing up for themselves.  When this happens they can respect themselves.

never-good-enoughDid you ever have these challenges as a young person?  Most of us have.  In fact most adults still struggle with the negative movies running in their heads.  I certainly have had the struggle with messages that I still remember from a very young age, that I was not “smart enough”.  In fact I still hear the words in my ears of being called “stupid”.

As I looked for a solution I first realized that the number one fear of all people is the fear of not being “enough”.  Enough of many different things – mine was not smart enough.  What I learned through practice is that the practice of the martial arts was very helpful in growing my confidence.  After training in the martial arts I soon realized that this could be a great tool in building confidence in students.  But not all students are open to the physical approach, they prefer to do something in the visual arts or performing arts.

That is why our – Three Arts…One Dojo – approach is so effective for students of all ages.  The first thing you can do is come and try a class with Balanced Life Skills.  Try it for free, stick with it for a while and you will see the results for yourself.

Compassion for a Villain

Hunch your shoulders, twirl your mustache, stand in dark corners and people know that you are “the bad guy” but the best stories don’t have villains that are bad, simply for the sake of being bad. It takes a truly gifted actor or storyteller to show the very worst side of a person and still maintain their humanity  the audience’s faith in that humanity. As audience members, we are captivated by good people who are painted into a corner to do things they would never want to do. Just look at your child’s face the next time that they ask to watch Frozen for the seventeenth time… that day!

Every actor and every story teller must be able to have compassion for their character and be able to elicit that compassion from the audience. It is more interesting to watch someone struggle between good and evil then to watch someone running around committing evil acts. If Michael or Vito Corleone simply relished in the dealings of a crime boss for the sake of “being bad” we wouldn’t have had the 374 minutes of the riveting Godfather movies, we simply would have had Scarface.

The responsibility of an actor and a storyteller are very closely related – to keep the audience’s attention. Each character has his own journey that started on the day that they were born and continues until the day that they die. The actor must be aware of significant events in the character’s life, prior to the story and what the character faces at the end of the story. When several character’s journeys intertwine in one story, we call one character’s portion their character “arch”. It is how they change throughout the story. When actors are preparing for a role, they breakdown every moment of every scene so that they know what their character wants at every moment or “beat”.

It is not good enough to say Hook wants to capture Peter Pan “just because”. This is not a strong choice as a storyteller or an actor. It is helpful to not distance yourself from the character. This implies judgment. Actors and Storytellers should strive for understanding. Distancing yourself from the character makes it more difficult to justify their actions. This is why many actors, depending on their method, will use the first person when referring to their character. A strong choice would be, “I want to capture Peter Pan because he is an insolent child and I should be the one to rule over Never Never Land.” Perhaps, later as the story unfolds you realize, “I want to capture Peter Pan because he reminds me of my lost childhood and until I eliminate this reminder I won’t be able to get back to the business of running my crew”. This would be part of your arch.

There are many methods for acting and story-telling and every rule is meant to be broken. A villain that just wants to “see the world burn” can still capture an audience’s attention. Heath Ledger and Christopher Nolan created a chaos-worshiping villain in The Dark Knight so unmoved by the suffering of others and the audience was hooked. However, in the same way that no one comes into the dojo on the very first day and breaks a board perfectly, ten consecutive times, no one should break these rules without diligent study and practice.

Compassion in Action: Humane Education Model

Promoting human and animal bond
Promoting human and animal bond

Compassion is not just action taken to help our fellow humans.  Teaching compassion might be more easily accomplished by teaching our children about the care of and compassion for, first the animals in their life and then for other animals that may not be a part of their daily life.  There are some who say that anyone that is cruel to an animal – cannot be good to fellow humans.

How can we impress on the young people in our lives the importance of taking care of and looking out for every living thing?  The three big areas of mission for Balanced Life Skills does this with first:
Awareness:  helping our young people to be aware of the needs of living things, how to demonstrate kindness to their own pets and developing relationships/connection with the animals around them.  Even going to the zoo and learning about the animals and the problems that might be facing them, will help to make them aware of the need for action.

Compassion:  Taking action.  With their own pet, they can be responsible for their care, playing, feeding etc.. But action may also be on a larger scale with support for groups who are protecting animals in the wild from poachers.

Respect:  By demonstrating respect for our own environment, reducing, re-using, recycling, planting trees, refraining from littering and cleaning up areas that are the homes for wildlife.  This kind of example of respect for our youth, sets the tone they can live by.

One of the best models of this kind of education I saw in action in Vieques, PR and then learned more about as I researched the model they were using.  It is called Humane Education.  If you want to learn more check out the website:   Institute for Humane Education http://humaneeducation.org/    To see the application in Vieques, PR check out their website: http://juntosvieques.org/

I have personally supported this program after seeing it in action.  They have been able to reduce aggression in schools and the thought is that in the long run this kind of education will also reduce even domestic violence.  Truly a worthy ACTION.

Compassion is an action word

COMPASSION-ACTION-HEADERAwareness + Empathy + ACTION = Compassion  It all starts with awareness.  Do we see or recognize what others are feeling?  If your friend lost their pet dog they are probably going to be sad or upset.   We know this by both listening to their story and observing their facial expression or their body language.  When we can put ourselves in that ‘persons shoes’ and feel the same feelings in your mind and body – we call that empathy.  When we take action and give them a hug or listen to their stories about their dog we are showing COMPASSION.

Compassion is the results of awareness and empathy in those that take action.  Without action we are simply listening and even comparing the feelings of ourselves with others.  Sometimes though it is difficult to figure out how a person is feeling.  Someone may show one emotion on the outside and truthfully feel different on the inside.  Or they may be feeling two different emotions at the same time.  It is possible to be a “little happy” and “a little sad”.

Imagine your friend is moving to a new school.  They may be sad to be leaving their friends at this school – but happy about the adventure of a new community, school and friends.  Using our awareness skills of listening, observing and empathy will help us to know what the compassionate ACTION to take that would be the most helpful.

How do you figure out how someone else is feeling?

Life Skills: Compassion – The Definition

Word of monthEach month we will discuss a life skill with all of our students. This month the word is Compassion.  This word will be defined in the following ways for our students.

Young students: Compassion means: “When you feel hurt, I want to help you feel better.”

Older students: Compassion means:  The emotion we feel when others are suffering that makes us want to help them.

Each age group has a worksheet that parents can use to continue the discussion at home with their children, and one for adults to allow them to think more deeply about the skill and how it applies to them. Would you like to receive the worksheet? Stop by our studio at 133 Gibralter Avenue in Annapolis, MD and tell us the age of your child. We will give you a worksheet and invite you to watch Mr. Joe discuss the word with the students in class.  You can also follow our discussions here on this website.

If you would like to become a member of Balanced Life Skills, come TRY CLASSES FOR FREE.   We are not your typical martial arts school, in fact we are an education center, working with our students on physical skills along with empowering families with compassion, awareness and respect – creating a culture of peace. We believe in every child and build their self – confidence.  Balanced Life Skills takes part in community service and encourages each student to do the same.

Come in and talk to the parents that are here and watch the class for the age group you are interested in.  Learn about the Balanced Life Skills Way.