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Dependability: Definition

November word of the month at Balanced Life Skills is Dependability.  Being dependable is about our promises and commitments, our actions and being accountable for those actions.   This month we will explore this even more, to find ways that we can demonstrate our dependability at home and in all parts of our life.   Our students will learn the role that dependability plays in creating a good reputation.

 

Young students:

Dependability means: You can count on me!

Older students:

Dependability means: Following through with commitments even when it’s challenging to do so.

There will be more discussions on this site of this word to help everyone discuss it with their own children and to look at it more deeply with themselves in the coming month. Check back with us or you may join our community for even more information.

 

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Discipline: Thinking for yourself

All of us have friends that we like to hang out with and do things with.  Not all of our friends and acquaintances will have the same goals or even values that we have.  So what would happen if one of our friends asks us to take part in something that is not a good choice for us?  We know what that is called.  It is peer pressure.

No matter your age there is peer pressure on everyone and all of us must use our discipline so we do not allow others to get in the way of us making good choices for ourselves.  Every choice we make is going to have a result or a consequence.  It can be good for us and move us closer to reaching our goals and living our values or it can be bad for us and result in a bad consequence.

What would happen if we gave in to peer pressure to use drugs or alchohol, take part in an unsafe prank, or to not tell our parents the truth about a matter?  What would happen if we allow others goals for us to sway us from our own goals?

Even as teens and adults we can be swayed to consider following a line of work or education that does not really fit into our ‘purpose’ in life – or into what really makes us happy.  Then years later as we trudge through life and realize we are not happy, we may blame others for making us follow a certain course.  

Be 100% responsible for yourself. Recognize that “Discipline is remembering what you want.”  So what are the goals you are going after, that you really want to reach?  Think for yourself, do not be pushed by others to do something that is not in line with your goals and stay focused.  

Just because your friend are doing it – does not mean that we should do it too.  When you have discipline, you think for yourself!

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What makes disciplined people successful?

Have you ever noticed that those who reach their goals, that is achieve the things that they want, always seem to be the ones that do what is necessary, even when they don’t feel like it. 

There are many individuals who would have loved to have been in the Olympics, but there are very small percentage that the discipline to do what is necessary to get to that level of success and even less that place in the top 3 in the world.  If we look at what the most successful do though we see that every part of their life they practice discipline – so they can reach their goal.

How do they do this?   There is much involved but we could say that they work hard, plan ahead, practice, and schedule the time.  They know what they want to acheive and  then they practice what we will call WBP.  WBP stands for Work Before Play.  When we use our discipline we set our goals, make a plan, maybe get a coach to help us, then schedule how we can accomplish the goal, then we WBP.

No excuses, no goofing around, no doing it halfway.  We don’t play at it, or allow other activities to get in the way of it we just “Do it!”  There will be no procrastination… or if there is we recognize it immediately and complete the task at hand.

I have been working on this for so long and recently I read a book about getting things done that are important for the progress of my personal growth as well as reaching my goals.  The author, Brian Tracy, said “eat the big frog first”.  He went on to describe how everyday we should make a list of the three things that would have the biggest impact on our lives or business.  Then the hardest, most difficult of the three should be done first and stuck with until it was complete.  Eat the biggest, ugliest, stickiest frog first.  Then be sure to complete all three tasks no matter what in that day. 

Why?  Because when you get rid of that one you have a sense of accomplishment and the rest of the frogs don’t look that bad.  I have been trying this and it has been working very well for me.  You may want to try this too.  Having said that some of the hardest things to be disciplined about though is our diet and exercise.  More on that next time.

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The choice to show discipline

We have talked about all the rules and those that make them for us the last time with a special emphasis on the rules that we make up for ourselves.  When we make rules for ourselves like, ‘I am going to listen intently to others when they speak to me’, or I am going to work diligently to learn this new skill,  it is far more likely that we will demonstrate discipline and fulfill this promise to ourselves. 

Really though it is about making choices.  Every choice that we make has an outcome and a ‘consequence’ that goes with it.  This is a very simple principle that is key for our children to learn.  It is important for them to correlate choices with consequences – good and bad.

The formula is very simple E + R = O.  Event plus your Response (choice) will have an Outcome.  When we decide as adults or children that we will be 100% responsible for our choices and there outcomes (consequences) then we will be well on our way to creating the life that we want for ourselves.

How do we teach this to our children?  We can do this by creating opportunities for  some choices and then allowing them to have some failures and reap the consequences that go with them.  We only make progress in any endeavor when we have a failure and then work through it and get better / stronger on the other side.  

Never having a failure or not being allowed to have a disappointment from time to time does not build character.  It only builds an attitude of entitlement that will soon learn that in the real world not everything is going to go our way.

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Discipline is about following rules

All of us have rules to follow.  Some of them are created by others like our parents, teachers, bosses, legislators and these could be refered to as external rules.  We follow these rules because for the most part they make things safe, fair or are just good manners in the society that we grow up in. 

A second kind of rule though is rules that we make ourselves follow.  These might be called internal or “self rules”.  There is no one there that makes us do them –  we choose to do so because, it is the right thing to do. 

For instance, there is no rule that says that you cannot be lazy.  However we have have that rule inside of us.  It may say to us that we should work hard at school, work, personal development, physical activity etc…  

That is discipline, to be able to follow the rules that we create for ourselves or follow the rules set by others and do so even when no one is looking.  Having this type of discipline shows that we have respect for ourselves and for others.  In fact the great thing about this is that this type of discipline and respect for ourselves will give us the opportunity to succeed. 

So here is an assignment to think about.  List some of the rules that are important to you to follow.  They may be self imposed or those from external sources.  Then rate yourself on a scale of 1 – 10 on your tendency to show discipline by following those rules – even when no one is looking.