Joe Van Deuren | - Part 105

July 13, 2011

Life Skills: Meeting the Challenges of Perseverance, Getting Through the Roadblocks

Teaching Children Life Skills — Teaching character and life skills to students

New Years is a time of the year when many individuals set out on goal setting, yet only 8% of them say that they always keep their resolution, while 75 percent say that they never complete their goal or resolution. So what happens? What is it that stops people from persevering until they reach their goals?

Four major challenges or potential roadblocks are:

Fear of failure
Lack of determination
Peer pressure
Excuses, excuses.

The fear of failure is one of the largest one’s that affect young and older individuals. Continue reading “Life Skills: Meeting the Challenges of Perseverance, Getting Through the Roadblocks”

July 12, 2011

Life Skills: Meeting the Challenges of Perseverance, Getting Through the Roadblocks

Four major challenges or potential roadblocks are:

Fear of failure
Lack of determination
Peer pressure
Excuses, excuses.

The fear of failure is one of the largest one’s that affect young and older individuals. But here is an idea the next time you start to give up on a goal because you are concerned about what might happen if it does not work out for you. Make a list of what the worst outcome would be if you failed and beside it a list of what the best outcomes would be. Now weigh it out and see if the worst is so bad that you are willing to give up the idea of trying and the possibility of success. Continue reading “Life Skills: Meeting the Challenges of Perseverance, Getting Through the Roadblocks”

July 12, 2011

How to Reduce Stress Part 6: Set and Reach YOUR Goals

Stephen Covey calls it, “Begin With The End In Mind”. We are going to call it, Know and Like Where You Are Headed. One of the largest contributors to confidence and feeling good about yourself, is feeling like you are in control of your destiny. Much of the anger and stress felt by both teens and adults is the lack of direction and commitment to an end result. Unfortunately we get so busy with the day to day that we can forget to take a few moments on a regular basis to think about where we are headed. So we we may be going full steam – but on a path that is not ultimately where we really wanted to be. That results in STRESS!

You will want to ask yourself some questions so you can establish what it is that you truly want to work towards. Take your time with this, and don’t be surprised that when you review your goals as time goes on, that you refine them.

What is it that you really love doing?
What makes you get up in the morning, excited and ready to get the day started?
Who are your heroes in life and what is their influence on you?
If you could do anything in the world, with money not being an object, what would it be?
What steps will I need to take to get there? What can I do right now?

Goal setting and creating a step by step plan to reach your goals is a huge subject that you can investigate and we will write about in the future, but just know that research has shown that those who define their goals are more successful than those who just dream. In fact one study done with Harvard graduates showed that those that wrote their goals down were 3 times better off than those who did not.

This process is not just for the career paths and big decisions. Even the smaller everyday stuff that needs to get done can be set out as short term goals and will help you get the important things done – reducing stress in your life. One more thought on this process, do not forget to be willing to ask for help or to get a coach or mentor to help you sort through your thoughts. We do not have to do this by ourselves. If we need some unbiased help, ask someone who is already doing what you think you would like to be able to do for guidance on how they got there.

July 12, 2011

Life Skills: Perseverance Starts With S.M.A.R.T. Goals

When we are trying to reach a goal there can be many things that get in the way of accomplishing our goal. Some of them can be self inflicted while others are obstacles that simply get in the way like a roadblock. Either way if we have perseverance we can find a way to reach our goals if we are willing to put forth the effort.

In the beginning though setting our goals and our frame of mind for reaching them is the first hurdle that can make all the difference in the world. Maybe you have heard of the S.M.A.R.T. way of goal setting but this would be a good time to review this goal setting technique and how to use it with our children of any age. Continue reading “Life Skills: Perseverance Starts With S.M.A.R.T. Goals”

July 11, 2011

Life Skills: 5 ways Parents Can Teach Perseverance

Now we have learned that the inner drive the child has to stick with something until they have learned it, whether it is riding a bike, swimming, math, reading, or how to be a good friend, is the key to achievement, the question is “How Can I as A Parent Teach My Child To Stick With Their Goals?” Here are 5 ways to help build the quality of perseverance in your child:

Praise their efforts when they stick with something they are trying to do.
Emphasize effort over grades when they bring their papers home from school
Point out the example of others who have overcome obstacles and stuck with a project
Set the example and talk about your own efforts to keep working on something you are trying to accomplish.
Praise the hard work they put into a project more than the results and the end product.

If we reinforce that success is built on effort and hard work, doing the best that we can consistently and over time, our children will develop the quality of perseverance.

July 9, 2011

How to Reduce Stress Part 5: Building a Support System

Have you ever felt a little down on yourself and really not sure who you can talk to? Or maybe you have the feeling that this is a problem you should be able to handle on your own. Sometimes we are not even really sure that there is anyone that would really understand. When we are feeling like that – we may get very anxious and stressed out about what to do.

Our support system, safety net, those around us that are there for us no matter what is an important part of being able to handle those stressful moments in our life. However they do not just show up when we need them, we must develop them long before we need to rely on them for support. Stephen Covey and his son Sean who wrote the books on habits of successful people and teens, both talk about building relationships. Building relationships is our safety net. It is those people that will be there for us when times are tough. Here are a couple of simple points about building that support system:

1. Spend time together – your experiences will bring you closer
2. Be honest / being trustworthy raises the quality of your friendships
3. Be loyal / take an interest in things that are important to others
4. Be a good listener / Don’t be bossy or pressure others
5. Be willing to apologize and not always the center of all attention
6. Be clear about your expectations and offer to be there for others

Identify those in your life that you feel like you would count on and be willing to talk to them honestly. If you are not sure who they might be, or you do not believe you have someone in your life that fits that description, pick one important relationship in your life and work on building it into one that you are confident you can rely on. If we have damaged those relationships in the past, it may take some time to rebuild them, but little by little we can do so.