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Life Skills: The Practice of Perseverance Builds Confidence In Ourselves

Teaching character and life skills to students

Martial arts schools so many times have students brought to them to build their confidence.  What is it about the training that takes place there that accomplishes that goal, and what can you do as a parent at home that would emulate that training.

Confidence is built on feeling good about yourself and what you have achieved.  In the martial arts you have goals set before you, some of them physical and some of them mental.  You are given the time frame to accomplish them in, and if you stay on target and practice you will most likely reach those goals.  When goals are reached, the confidence is built, so that when the next even harder task is asked of us, we know that if we commit ourselves to the task or skill, we will be able to accomplish it and yes – build even more confidence.

Imagine though, we quit or gave up saying it was too hard, or worse asked the instructor to excuse us from having to do something because…  what would our confidence be like when the next task was asked of us.  We may be willing to give up again, and possibly with even less effort.

Here is the bottom line:  When we achieve something after working hard, we feel good about ourselves and know we can do anything if we commit.  When we feel confident, we’ll set more goals, and have an easier time committing and persevering.  What have you done recently that shows perseverance?  Did you get past your fears, or not let others influence you to stop reaching for your goals?  Did you tell yourself, “When the going gets tough, I don’t quit!”

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Balanced Life Skills Contributes 600 Pairs of Shoes To Sole4Souls

 

Balanced Life Skills has just sent out over 600 pairs of shoes to Soles 4 Souls.  They will deliver them to children and  individuals around the world, many of them who have never owned a pair of shoes before.  We are grateful for the wonderful contribution and service made by Pitt Ohio Express who came, shrink wrapped the pallets and loaded them on the truck.  The driver was very pleasant and helpful.  Our own students put the shoes together and boxed them up to prepare them for shipping.

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Bully Prevention: Teacher Strategies For Handling Bullying In the Classroom

For teachers, the classroom is a mix of many personalities and abilities of the students.  Teachers are expected to fill many roles in their efforts to care for the academic needs of the students and yet we know that just having ‘knowledge’ is not the key to success in life.  As children get older and move into the t’weens age, social issues arise and they can have a definite affect on the ability of a student to learn.  While social intelligence is not the ‘responsibility’ of the teacher, the best teachers are those that reach their students in ways beyond facts and figures. 

Maintaining peace in the classroom will call for the teacher to be aware of the personalities and any interactions that are not leading to a good learning environment for even one of the students.  But how should a teacher react if they observe or suspect that some form of bullying behavior is taking place?  This will depend on many other factors including the age and gender of the students, how others who observe the actions are reacting and the nature of the bullying behavior.

One thing is for sure though, and that is that doing nothing or ignoring the incident will only empower those acting out and reinforces the bullying behavior.  It also sends a message to all the other students.  Unfortunately many students already believe that teachers won’t do anything or just are not interested.  I know that is not true of most teachers,  but that is the feeling of many students.  To create the safe environment you want in your classroom and school, we must act, but the question is, How?

I have started a website / social network – Bully Prevention Partners – to discuss such questions for all involved, including teachers, parents and students.  I will be posting strategies for parents and teachers as well as running training programs for students in bully prevention.   If you are interested in joining our efforts to create peaceful classrooms and positive learning environments for all students, please join in the conversation.

Here is the outline for teacher intervention, with details of what to say, being posted on the Bully Prevention Partners site.

1. Say out loud what you see and hear
2. Invite the parties to give more information
3. Label the behavior and note the no tolerance rule
4. Convey expectations
5. Encourage different behavior

For parents you will appreciate the steps teachers can learn to use, as in the end we are teachers too.  We want to be prepared for what may arise in our family too.  While your child may not be affected at this time by this issue, the fact is that statistics show that 75 – 80% of all students will be before they leave school.  How will you know and how will you help them?  Our goal is to get ahead of the issue with all children and students.  Do not wait till your student shows all the classic signs or maybe never tells you – but is affected in deep emotional ways.  Even those that only observe bullying taking place are affected, wondering if or when it will be them that is picked on.  Every child deserves to feel safe in their home, school and community.

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Life Skills: When Perseverance Does Not Appear To Be In Your Child’s DNA

Teaching character and life skills to students

As I started this piece I was thinking of all those times my father and mother both told me I was not living up to my potential.  I thought about how many times even teachers told me that I was wasting good talent.  But I do not remember any of them coming up with a solution – other than just saying to me – You Have To Apply Yourself!  Do you know how empty those words are to a middle school or high school student?  What do you mean “apply yourself”?  Then I would go off about how it was bad teachers or any other excuse that made perfect sense to me.

Now that I am in the other position and past having my own kids that are frustrating me with their lack of effort – I have looked at this subject with much more objectivity and deeper than ever before.  Yes there are things that you can do.  No there is not a single conversation you can have and then everything is fixed. But here are a few steps that should help over the long haul, and yes it can be a long haul.

  1. Look for ways your child is already using perseverance.  It may be saving money for a certain ‘thing’ they want.   Discuss with them the steps they had to take to accomplish that goal and then offer the idea that the same techniques can be used to accomplish other goals.
  2. Do not start with getting straight A’s.  Start small and maybe something that is fun for them.  It may be a finishing a book, building a project or learning a new skill.
  3. Allow the child to choose the goal.  “I want to learn how to ….”  Now you have something that they are excited about and you can help them with planning how to reach the goal.
  4. Be aware and alert to things your child says that will give you the opportunity to teach.  They may say, “I would like to read the most books this summer, or win the science fair, or get a ipod”  Now you have a place to start with setting out steps, an action plan, and a timetable to reach that goal.
  5. Include your children in your own goal setting process.  It may be for accomplishing something around the house, or learning a new skill yourself.  Include them in on how you break down the tasks and make it happen over a period of time.
  6. Be real with them.  If there goal is to learn to play a musical instrument the amount of commitment is different than if there goal is to win the science fair.  Helping them to grasp reality vs. making them believe their goal is impossible is the balance you must make.  Helping them to think it through first will help to keep them from being discouraged when things do not happen as fast as they thought they might.
  7. Celebrate, Celebrate, Celebrate!  When you see them put forth the effort, sticking to their plan, and making progress – be sure to commend them and celebrate the effort!  This will go a long way in keeping them on track and encouraging them to complete other goals in the same manner.
Finally, making goal setting a part of their life is key to working on these steps.  Before the school year starts, begin talking about the goals they have for the year and how they plan on reaching them.  They may be academic goals or social goals, or they may be goals for showing leadership in areas of interest to them.  If your child has been the target of bullies in the past, they may have a goal of standing up to them and being proactive for changing the culture of their school.  You can help them with role-playing and getting them to think of ways they can accomplish their goals. 

I am here to help your child also to take leadership roles, to encourage them and provide help to them.  What if your child was a part of or started a project to help the hungry, stop bullying, provide school supplies or something else that they were interested in.  Balanced Life Skills wants to help them to accomplish their goals too.

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Life Skills: Goal Setting + Perseverance = Confidence

 

Teaching character and life skills to students

Marie Curie said, “Life is not easy for any of us. We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.”
When you think about the goals you have already achieved you no doubt can look back and say that perseverance played a large part in accomplishing that goal.  Maybe it was riding your bike or learning to swim or conquering that math problem.  Each goal that you set out to achieve was conquered by doing the little things and not giving up.

It may not have been easy, but now that you know that if you work hard, put in the effort and get coached for knowledge and skill, you can accomplish anything that you set out to do.  This is important for every aspect of our life, including our academics, social or work we want to do on ourselves emotionally.  Step by step, little accomplishments when strung together with perseverance results in great achievement.  Great achievement will build confidence for the next goal that you want to reach.

In our next article on perseverance we will look at what to do when we do not think our child puts forth enough effort to reach goals and helping them learn about goal setting.  This will be a great way to start the new school year.

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150 Jump Ropes Made by Students of Balanced Life Skills

Friday July 22, 2011 Annapolis, MD – Balanced Life Skills students and families came together and made 150 jump ropes that will be sent with Brian Williams and Think Kindness to an orphanage in Kenya. The name of the orphanage is Tumaini. Through the very high temperatures and high humidity the outside work was done, like cutting and sanding the handles and carturizing the ends of the rope, while taping the handles and putting the ropes together was done inside Balanced Life Skills studio.

Children as young as 3 helped while mom’s and dad’s and students of all ages did there share of the work. With some volunteers arriving at 9 AM all 150 jump ropes were completed by 12:30 PM. This was a great effort by over 30 volunteers, as they made very quick work of the project. Balanced Life Skills Martial Arts encourages all of their students to take part in community service as a part of their training in the martial arts.

Last year, I had the privilege of traveling with Think Kindness to Kenya and spend time at the orphanage, delivering shoes, school supplies and jump ropes. In addition as a group we were able to help them purchase chickens for their use on the grounds that will compliment the gardens that feed the children.

Late this year in December, I will be returning to Kenya with Brian and others, including doctors, dentist and nurses, to assist in the establishment of a medical clinic, and of course, spend some time with the children. Spending time with the children is so exciting, as they all have a story and you must just love their smiles. I hope you enjoy the video we made of making the jump ropes.

Here is a link to some of the photos we took at the jump rope making event. PHOTOS