Setting ourselves up for success both as parents and a teachers requires first that we recognized the A,B, C’s of both the good and bad behaviors that we want to either change or continue. Lets look at what that means:
- A = The antecedents (the situation that leads to bullying or good behavior)
B = The behavior (the actual bullying action or the kind deed)
C = Consequence (the result of the action, bullying or otherwise)
Knowing what situations lead to the bullying action allows us to alter the situation so we can keep it from happening in the first place. When we can pinpoint the antecedents of the problem, we can then take steps that will change the subsequent behavior and consequences.
From the other point of view if we know what situations create good behaviors we can create them more often and then praise the consequence / results. As we begin to examine the circumstances that occur that lead to the bullying behavior, we need to ask ourselves about how much influence we have on that circumstance to determine how much time and energy we are willing to put into solving that situations.
If we are a teacher and we believe the problem stems from something at home, we have very little influence over that situation, and therefore will not throw ourselves into problem solving. However, if the behavior seems to be more prevalent because of the seating arrangements or the closeness of the seats in the classroom, this we may be able to spend some time and energy on, and we may be able to better that situation.
The same is true for parents. There may be situations where bullying is taking place that we simply have limited control or influence over. So our efforts and energy should be directed to something that we do influence. Could we teach our child ways to demonstrate more confidence and practice with them how to use their voice in an authoritative manner? If our child is the bully, working with the teachers and setting up clear rules and consistent consequences that both the school and the parents match together, will yield the best results. More on the steps parents and teachers can take in a positive manner in preventing bullying and other disruptive behaviors in our next post.