Tony Robbins once spoke about why some individuals do not have continued success once they gain a measure of success. It was likened to a thermostat that allows the heater to work, but when it reaches a pre-destined level, then it shuts off. Why is it, that some find themselves unable to sustain, and in fact sometimes fall apart completely? It can be fear of success, or it may be as Dr. Steven Berglas suggests, a lack of bedrock character.
I have found it interesting as a parent / leader that the very beginning of parenting many times makes us feel so successful. We get the compliments of many who tell us what a great job we are doing and how great our children are. Then as one psychologist said, “Every parent must morn the death of their perfect child.” One day we are shocked by something they do or say and we wonder where did that come from? No matter what, it happens to all of us, some sooner – some later.
One thing is for sure though, having great character as a leader / parent is important. All of us must continue to examine our personal character, matching our words and actions, as this is the most important asset that we have in business or family. If we say we are going to do something – do we complete it? Are we there for our children in their moments of glory and disappointments?
Children, our own children know us better than virtually anyone else. They know the real us, even if we think that we are doing a good job of putting up a great face. Without a word being spoken, I have seen them recognize when dad has lost his job, or parents are not getting along well. They feel the emotions, they know the character and we as parents cannot disguise who we really are as leaders. Even more important they are learning as they watch us and developing their own character, many times copying their parent / leaders actions – not their words. As a parent leader our character is our most important asset.
Reinforcing character building in our children is one benefit of the martial arts at Balanced Life Skills. In the month of February we will be discussing FAIRNESS with our students.