Balanced Life Skills Martial Arts

I’ve had the chance to try a few different kinds of exercise and methods for improving the body and mind. Soccer, PE classes, lacrosse, yoga, running, swimming, and other pursuits. My experience here in Wudang has helped me understand how vitally important maintaining your body is (I’ve come to think of it as rather like brushing your teeth- you feel better if you do it, and if you don’t, you won’t have much to work with a few years down the road). But so much of my training here is only tangentially martial in nature. So sometimes I wonder, “Why martial arts?” Couldn’t I be just as happy studying yoga or some other art that would keep my mind and body connected without the occasional traumatic punch to the face? Why do I instinctively feel that there is something special about martial arts?

I have quite a few answers for myself, but recently I have been thinking about a new way in which the “martial” bit of martial arts is crucial. What it does is it teaches, in very clear, black and white terms, the lessons of personal responsibility and acceptance. Under the supervision of an attentive teacher or master, the dynamics of a fight or sparring match (and the preparation for such)  strip away excuses and provide clear consequences. Getting hit stinks. You quickly learn to want to avoid that at all cost. But if you got hit, it is because you let your opponent hit you. Hitting you is your opponent’s job. There is no, “I wasn’t ready,” no,” That’s not fair,” no, “Can we do that over?” At the same time, you can’t dwell on the pain of the last hit. You have to accept it instantly and move on, or experience it again, and worse.

Under a good teacher or master, this acceptance of pain and responsibility spreads from the fighting scenario into daily training, and from there into daily life. If you got hit, you need to prepare better, train harder. If you didn’t train hard enough, it’s because you felt ill because you ate too much or didn’t sleep enough the night before. If you didn’t sleep enough, it’s because you procrastinated at work or school and had to stay up late to finish a project. You are %100 responsible for all of these things. At the same time, when once you mess up, you have to accept it and use it to get ready for next time, because next time is coming. There are other ways to learn these lessons, but the martial arts are teaching them to me in clear, non-negotiable terms.

Day 16 in our series talks about the 3 ways we show assertiveness.  This whole series is found on Bully Prevention Partners.  We would like for those interested in creating a culture of peace in our schools and community to join us there as we spread the awareness of bully prevention.

Teaching character and life skills to students

Each month we define and discuss a word of character development and life skill with all of our students.

This month the word is Self-Reliance and will be defined this way.

Young students: Self Reliance means: “I can do it by myself!”

Older students: Teamwork means: Self trust; relying on your own judgements, powers or abilities

Here are the worksheets for our students:

Self Reliance Project Tiger Tots

Self Reliance Project 5-6

Self Reliance Project 7-12

Self Reliance Project Teens & Adults

If you would like to see how we will deal with this subject with our students please follow our discussions here during the month of September or come in and TRY A CLASS.

Today was the first post in a 10 part series for teachers on classroom management.  The idea is to provide help for teachers and parents (parents are teachers too) for helping to eliminate bullying in your classroom or home.  Learning is best done when all students feel safe and secure, and are not afraid of being picked on.

Please join our efforts to create that situation for all students at Bully Prevention Partners.  We are looking to engage teachers, parents and students in our discussion on creating a culture of peace in the classroom.

Do not wait till your son or daughter is the target of a bully.  You can help them now – not to be the target and to have the strength to stand up for themselves and others in bullying situations.   Invite your children’s teachers to visit and contribute to Bully Prevention Partners.  Together we can make a difference.

Teaching character and life skills to students

Have you ever seen or been on a team that just clicked, everything went well, even when there were obstacles? It is fun to be on a team like that. Have you ever been on a team that no matter how hard you worked the team never quite gelled and what you hoped to accomplish never quite happened. That can be very discouraging. So what is it that makes the difference in a great team and one that does not reach its potential? How does what we learn help us in our families, our most important team.

Great teams and teams that are fun to be on may not always win. But on great teams, that never seems to persuade them from having a positive attitude. Even when things do not go as planned or hoped for, the members of the team always look on the bright side and are willing to give credit to each other and appreciate the effort that they put into the task at hand.

Great teams display great sportsmanship. No matter if they win or lose, they are fair and kind both to each other and those that they played against. They put forth their best effort and play by the rules, never cheating or lying. Teams that display sportsmanship are willing to compliment others for a job well done instead of bragging, criticizing or making fun of others on or off of their team.

Great teams and teammates will still make mistakes and not do the job they were assigned as well as they wished they had. But instead of trying to find someone else to blame, they quickly acknowledge their mistakes, learn from them and then work on doing better the next time. All of these things are true of teams that we play and work on, but they are also true of our most important team – our family.

In our family we want to display a positive attitude, even when things do not go the way we would have liked or planned. If there is an obstacle, we talk to others in the family, prioritize what our values are, make choices that are best for the team – not just one individual. Great families create a culture of being fair to all and understanding that fairness does not mean you will get your way all of the time. Great families work hard together on projects that meet the values and mission of their family, with everyone contributing what they are able to their projects. They are willing to listen to each other and set their own ego’s to the side for the good of the team.

Developing our values and mission as a family and then working together to meet our goals as a team, teaches our children about teamwork and creates a very close and strong family. If someone were to ask you what is your mission / goals as a family, you want to be able to state it simply and clearly. Having the values spelled out and a mission understood is the first step in creating a great team.

The power of WE can affect our family, our schools, and our community. I hope to use this power in our efforts to bring a culture of peace to our schools for all students. Will you join with me in:

Bully Prevention Partners

Teaching character and life skills to students

Each month we define and discuss a word of character development and life skill with all of our students.

This month the word is Teamwork and will be defined this way.

Young students: Teamwork means: “Let’s work together to get it done!”

Older students: Teamwork means: Working together as a group to achieve a common goal.

Here are the worksheets for our students:

Teamwork worksheet TT

Teamwork Worksheet 5/6

Teamwork worksheet 7-12

Teen / Adult Teamwork worksheet

If you would like to see how we will deal with this subject with our students please follow our discussions here during the month of July or come in and TRY A CLASS.