Balanced Life Skills Martial Arts

All of us has had someone tell us that we need to focus.  It may have even been ourselves that we had a little self talk “Focus, Focus, Focus”.  So what is focus other than looking and listening with intensity.  This is what we teach our young children and for all of us it is really blocking out all of the distractions that keep us from focusing.

How do we direct our mind so that we can focus on our work, assignment or other things?  We must remember that the only thing that we have is this moment.  If we are washing the dishes then we need to be washing the dishes.  If we are talking to our child, then we need to be totally there with them.  This is the only moment that we have.  

All of the moments we had – are in the past and we cannot get them back.  There are no future moments that we are guaranteed – so NOW is all we have.  Still all of us have things that will be a distraction to us, so practicing being in this moment will take time.  

This week in our classes we will be talking about what distracts us and how we can keep ourselves focused.

Have you ever known someone who is constantly complaining? I have and depending on our own relationship with them it may have various immediate impact on us. If it someone we are in love with, then we have a tendency to overlook it for a great deal of time. If it is someone that we are neutral about then it may wear on us to the point that we do not enjoy being around them.
But we are influenced by the people we hang out with and when we have someone around us who always dwells on the negative side of things we can lose our appreciation for what is good. As we live in this country we are indeed very fortunate. The families we have, the schools we attend, the cultural events around us, all of these add to the quality of our life.
But focus is a very funny thing. If you are an adult, have you ever been driving down the road and started to look at something in a field to your right or left and found yourself drifting in that direction, only to have to pull yourself back quickly?
This can happen to us in how we think too. If we show appreciation and focus on the good in our lives we will feel better emotionally and we will accomplish more in our daily life. Here is one way to do this with your family. When you come home and ask everyone in your family what they are thankful for about themselves, others, things, whatever and how do they show appreciation for that gift. You may be surprised by what they say and it may be silly at first, but the habit of speaking the words out loud will affect the evening and your personal feelings.
Try this and let me know how it affects you. As an individual you may want to keep a gratitude journal. Write down 5 things everyday that you appreciate – then review it if you are feeling a bit down.

All of us like to be heard, listened to and shown respect for our thoughts.  This is true, whether we are 3 years old or 83 years old.  While we know how to listen with respect, (eyes on the person, nodding at appropriate times, engaged in the conversation), as parents we need to be sure we follow those rules when we are being spoken to by our children no matter what their age.  It was very funny in the classes this past week, that all the kids knew the answers about how to listen and they were very engaged when we talked about a person who was looking at others or fidgeting when they were trying to talk.
The reason I found that amusing was that I find myself doing that from time to time.  Listening is such an important skill and one that I am continuing to work on.  I told some parents this week that sometimes I find myself not devoting my whole self to the person I am talking to especially when we are in between classes and there is so much activity.  Just to let you know that I am aware of this and I am working on keeping my focus on the conversation and the person I am talking to.  Don’t you just love the lessons the ‘kids’ are learning!!!!