Balanced Life Skills Martial Arts

Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach

The third chapter of this book is the one that really got me hooked.  It is called The Sacred Pause: Resting Under the Bodhi Tree.  Prior to that though I enjoyed the writing and understood where Ms. Brach was coming from, it was this chapter on pausing that made me stop and think about myself in the real world.

She gave the example of everyone’s hero, Chuck Yaeger who followed several other pilots trying to go in the atmosphere with their plane where no one else had been.  All of them killed, frantically trying to stabilize their planes that had entered into a tumbling and diving that made them scream, ” What do I do next?” as they plunged to their death.

Her thoughts and examples of situations that we may find ourselves, things we cannot control, using strategies that are not working, feeling helpless and trying frantically to manage our difficult situation, with nothing working for us what should we do?

Chuck Yaeger was knocked out in his flight and was able to do nothing.  He came to, in time that as he re-entered the earth’s atmosphere he was able to regain control of the plane, bringing it in safely.

“Learning to pause is the first step in the practice of Radical Acceptance.”   Could pausing be an answer to some of our most troubling, out of control feelings and situations?  It certainly allows us to make choices in how we respond, teaching us how to nurture ourselves.  I hope you enjoy her thoughts and experiences if you choose to read this book.

In the book, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, John Maxwell writes;

“We should work on changing ourselves before trying to improve others.”

Working to improve ourselves is a full time job.  In fact so much so that my mentor and instructor, Mr. Tom Callos has many times said to me and others, that whatever it is that you need to work on for yourself, you should bring your students along and have them work along with you.

Every time that I research or write about a subject, I find myself looking at myself and finding ways for me to improve in those areas.  Whether we are a parent, instructor or a 7 year old with a younger sibling, all of us have a responsibility to ourselves and to those looking up to us.  That responsibility is not just to tell them what to do, but to demonstrate in our daily lives how to do it.

Yes we are going to fail from time to time, but that is a lesson for them too.  When I fail what shall I do?  Fall down 7 get up 8.   The gift that all of us can give our children, students and others in our sphere of influence, is being a good example.

I am going to start to record what I am reading and learning in my own journey.