Balanced Life Skills Martial Arts

It’s this simple:  Children defend themselves with their heads. It’s knowledge that protects children in today’s world. Knowledge about safety, about what to avoid, about what to do, where to go, and how to stay out of harm’s way.

I’m a part of a remarkable association of martial arts teachers, really forward thinking and action-oriented instructors, who come together almost every day to move worthwhile projects forward. The group is called The One Hundred, it’s headed by a 6th degree black belt named Tom Callos (www.tomcallos.com).

The One Hundred, all of us, work on things that are, literally, “good for the world.” Like we’re bringing diabetes education to martial arts schools and anger management training and environmental self-defense programs. This week we launched a very simple, but powerful website to help girls (young women) learn about a kind of self-defense made just for today’s world.

The site, still being added to and polished, is www.flavors.me/10Lessons. Check it out.

And if you know a young person who could use some self-defense instruction, send them our way. Tell us you visited our 10 Lessons site and we’ll give you 1-week of lessons, for free –and one thing you will NEVER get at a school in The One Hundred, is a “sales pitch.” We don’t sell over the counter, we sell by engaging in and delivering extraordinary work.

Guest Post By Tom Callos for Balanced Life Skills.  Mr. Callos is Mr. Joe Van Deuren’s mentor, coach and instructor.

You didn’t start your study of the martial arts to “go through the motions” of it all, did you? Of course you didn’t, but look around you in your next class and I’ll bet you spot a number of your classmates doing that very thing, going through the motions. It’s human nature to get distracted, to multi-task, and wander off course.

To deepen and strengthen your practice so that you stay on the mark and make reasonable progress, I offer you these 10 time-tested, Tom-tested tips:

1. As often as you can remember to do so, say to yourself “I am aware that I am training” (kicking, punching grappling, or whatever it is you’re doing at the moment). For me, that never fails to get my head out of the clouds and back into my practice (I am aware that I am writing this!).

2. Use a training partner (or partners) to hold you accountable to more intense, more focused, and more “present” practice. Friends are a good thing.

3. Eat better food before and after ever class (and, of course, that translates into ALL THE TIME). If you’re body’s jammed full of food-delivered chemicals, cups of corn-syrup, and crates full of unnecessary carbs or fats, you’re going to find you don’t function like the well-oiled machine you’re supposed to be. Contrary to the way a lot of people live their lives, what you eat IS important to your performance. In fact, what you eat IS self-defense.

4. Breath deeply, focus on breathing deeply, think about breathing deeply, and maybe, if you have a habit of forgetting, write “BREATH DEEPLY” on the backside of your hand. To see just how much this helps you, do it. You’ll feel the benefits right away.

5. Take your practice off of the mat. Courtesy and respect for others isn’t something that’s practiced in the school with people you’re semi-afraid of. It’s for that ding-dong at the supermarket (you can tell what someone is made of by how they treat the people that mean nothing to them). It’s for your Mom, who sometimes bugs you in a big way. It’s for the substitute teacher (yes, even for him/her).

6. Practice at home, a minimum of 10 minutes a day on the days you don’t attend classes. Little things add up, so even 10 minutes of practice can help you grow. Oh, and if you don’t think 10 minutes matters, try to hold your side-kick out out for 10 minutes or try and hold your breath for 10 minutes. Yeah.

7. Read age-appropriate philosophy. Champions, whether in science, baseball, chess, jiu-jitsu, or cross-country skiing, all have belief systems that make them rise above hardship and overcome obstacles. They all learn to cope with defeat –and victory. Reading the words of someone with experience can be the next best thing to talking with them face-to-face.

8. Go crazy. Yes, act in a way that most people would consider very odd indeed. For example, when things start getting really hard, you pretend they’re getting easier. Crazy! When everyone else complains –and for good reasons too, you find the good in the situation and jump up to be the first person to turn whatever is wrong, right. Insane! When everyone else quits, you stick to it! You’re a nut!

Actually you are a martial artist

9. Measure your own personal performance on a scale between 1 and 10, with “1” being your worst performance –and “10” being an all out, focused, beautiful-to-behold effort. Try to operate as close to level 10 as you can during your classes (whether you’re standing still or doing difficult maneuvers). And while you’re at it, try to LIVE at level 10, whenever possible. It’s a good thing.

10. I hate to drop this one on you last, as it’s a bit of a let-down after all this glorious focus on you and yours, but maybe the best way to deepen your own practice of the martial arts is to help others deepen theirs. Yes, that’s right, in the end, it’s not about you at all. Funny how it always works out that way.

Tom Callos

About the Author: Tom Callos’ bio and project portfolio may be read at www.tomcallos.com

Guest Post By Tom Callos for Balanced Life Skills.  Mr. Callos is Mr. Joe Van Deuren’s mentor, coach and instructor.

I took my first martial arts lesson at age 9. By the age of 13, when my friends were experimenting, when peer pressure seemed at an all time high, when I just knew my brain power had far surpassed my father’s, and when I couldn’t pass any reflective surface without gazing in wonder at what it beheld, I was firmly and deeply entrenched in my identity as a martial artist.

The classes anchored me, in fact, they were just about the only place where I could stand completely still for any extended period of time (except, of course, if front of the TV).  The instructors emphasized respect, courtesy, and a code of honor that nobody else I knew seemed to care about. For me, that was good. It made me feel unique.

In a good martial arts school, your child will feel like a part of “the team.” And this team, if they’re good at what they do, will have daily talks about compassion, about respect for self and others, about kindness, and about non-violent conflict resolution.

But equally as good as the philosophy can be is the fact that your little one will be training, as in legs flying, rolling, punching, blocking, jumping, and spinning. Each maneuver has an effect on your child’s brain and, of course, their body. When I watch the young people in my classes doing what we do, I always think about how good it is that they’re here, doing something so constructive and positive.

I also reflect back to when I was a child –and that’s usually followed by a silent “thank you” to my parents.

Football, soccer, baseball, tennis, and guitar were all fun, but not one of them affected me as my martial arts lessons have. If you’re a parent, I would highly recommend enrolling your child in a good school –and you might even consider some classes for yourself.

Come in and try classes for FREE for a week.

Guest Post By Tom Callos for Balanced Life Skills.  Mr. Callos is Mr. Joe Van Deuren’s mentor, coach and instructor.

This is an article full of shopping advice. If you’re shopping for a martial arts school, for training, then you’ve come to the right place.

I’ve been studying the martial arts for 40 years, I’m a 6th degree black belt in taekwondo, a 17 year practitioner of Brazilian Jiu-jitsu, and my students have include national taekwondo champions, karate point-fighters, and mixed martial arts legends. So, when it comes to martial arts training, in every –and any –realm, I know (exactly) what I’m talking about.

Here are three piece of advice for you, regardless of the kind of martial arts you might be interested in: Read the rest of this entry →

So this is the challenge that I have before me. When I read this I thought about what it was like to be a parent. When we first become a parent all the thoughts, goals and ideal ways of doing things that rush through us. Sometime along the way we get so bogged down with just making the schedule happen everyday that we just want to get through another day.
Ever felt that way? I have and now all I want to do is be as much help as I can for all of our students, parents and the community so that the ideals and values and all that we wanted for our children and the world can be at least in some small way achieved.
We are very fortunate to have a wonderful community here at BLS working for the same goals. Thank you and lets see what we can accomplish together.

A note from one of my mentors:
“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
– Abraham Lincoln
Throughout our childhood our parents taught us to say ‘thank you’ and it became a habit – something we say automatically, along with ‘please’. And because of this we have forgotten just how important gratitude is and how essential it is in leading fulfilled lives.
So why is gratitude important?
Just for a minute, think of all the things you are grateful for, such as, loving friends, partners and family, pets who love you unconditionally, good health, great holidays you’ve had, as well as everyday items such as a comfortable home, electricity, TV, fridge, and clean water when you turn on the tap.
The list, in fact, could go on and on. So how does that make you feel when you think of all these things? Doesn’t it make you feel good?
Now focus on events that have made you unhappy or dissatisfied – it’s raining, the car won’t start, a work colleague irritates you, you have a head cold. You start to feel grumpy and resentful, and that is something that certainly does not feel good – in fact it feels bad!
So which would you prefer? To feel good? Or to feel bad?
It’s a straightforward choice and we have the ability to choose how we feel. But for most of us, it just doesn’t seem as easy as that – isn’t the world out to get us? Well, no, it isn’t actually, it’s just our perception of how things are.
Let me give you an example: it’s a wet, rainy day, and immediately most people will start to complain, tell everyone who will listen what a miserable day it is, with the result that they end up feeling miserable themselves.
But look at it another way and despite wet clothes and hair, both will dry perfectly well and no lasting harm has been done. And in addition to this, because of rain, we not only live in a green and beautiful landscape, we are able to grow an abundance of fruit and vegetables.
There really is no obvious reason for feeling miserable – in fact there is a great deal to be grateful for. It’s all to do with how we perceive things.
We can alter our perceptions – our view of how the world is and how things affect us. And when we do that, then we can start to feel gratitude and as a consequence, start to feel good!
So here are a few suggestions to help you get started: Read the rest of this entry →

Just this morning as I checked my email I received this message in part from one of my mentors. I could not believe how fitting it was for me at this time.
There’s a great reason not to be anxious about the difficulty you’re facing today – it contains a lesson. And once you master it, you will be much stronger and wiser.
Emmet Fox, wrote, “It is the Law that any difficulties that can come to you at any time, no matter what they are, must be exactly what you need most at the moment, to enable you to take the next step forward by overcoming them. The only real misfortune, the only real tragedy, comes when we suffer without learning the lesson.”
“No person can be confronted with a difficulty which he has not the strength to meet and subdue… Every difficulty can be overcome if rightly dealt with; anxiety is, therefore, unnecessary. The task which cannot be overcome ceases to be a difficulty and becomes an impossibility… and there is only one way of dealing with an impossibility – namely to submit to it.”
– James Schuller
James Schuller’s words are so incredibly penetrating on this subject because he’s basically saying that there’s no problem that we should be anxious about. We can either solve it or it’s impossible to solve. Kind of reminds you of the Serenity Prayer doesn’t it? “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference.”
I have said to Mr. Doug on several occaisions over the last week – this is our test – Let us together show what it means to be a black belt. Thank you to everyone who has shown us support this past week.

The following is a message I received from my instructor about belt testing and black belts. Going from one rank to the next is not based on how much time did I put in or am I a nice person. It is based on physical ability, attitude (am I willing to put in the time and effort) and then of course all of the intangibles( am i living my life to be my best? am I giving back to my martial arts community and to the world?)
Often times whether we are 5 years old, a teenager or an adult the “getting the belt” or the “color of the belt” is the biggest hindrance we have. The harder we try to attain this “belt” the more time it takes. In martial arts as in many things in life, when we work hard and enjoy the journey the results come faster or at the very least seem to come faster. So here are the thoughts of my instructor;
Read the rest of this entry →

To My Students and Their Families:
This posting is about a note written to me, from someone I respect, a teacher and friend of mine, Tom Callos. I’m including it here because it reveals, I think, the kind of training, advice, and direction that I’m involved with, as a martial arts teacher.
Read the rest of this entry →